Sunday, October 23, 2016

Dear 20 Years Old Osla

You might have been a total dork, and you were so honest to the point of being inappropriate.

But you've got good eyes for good ear pumps.

These pair of black dipshits definitely wasn't for you at your age. They sucked elephant dick.

They made you ears hurt, they always come off your friggin' ears while you jog and made you feel like less of a human piece of shit.

So you stowed it away in a crappy synthetic casing that the same black dipshits came with. The casing was FREE naturally.

You knew it was crappy because... it kinda decomposed. Well, now at least. You didn't actually know it was that crappy then. In fact, it looked cool back then. Now it's probably more dead frozen than anything.

And the black dipshits - the rubber started gooing up too. It was disgusting; dipshit. Apt term ain't it.

But i looked past it as how i did when my McNugget falls to the floor and i immediately pick it up and pop it happily in my mouth regardless

Lets just say the sounded tasted like McNuggets - which was pretty damned good considering that it was in a pretty shit of a case.

Now, i enjoy them very well while i'm on the bike. They are the only pair that doesn't protrude like some kind of sick freak of nature and don't fall off my quirky ears while the helmet is on.

Sure - it doesn't come with a microphone. Who knew it was necessary, considering i have pretty narrow attention span today.

So thank you you 20 year old idiot. You might not have used your brains correctly, and you probably didn't really think that far ahead.

But you didn't throw them away. As disphit as they were back then, i've tried a few other ear pumps - they don't make them the same anymore.

Best part of all, i didn't know i could hear my heartbeat so well when everything fell silent with the dipshits on!

Thanks man. You're the best.
25 years old Osla

P/S : Sonicgear makes some pretty good dipshits of ear pumps.