Friday, December 04, 2009

This is a very open topic.

NO, SERIOUSLY, DON'T EVEN BOTHER READING IF YOU AREN'T PREPARED.

Because I'm gonna be talking about something not everyone's really keen to talk about. It is after all a very sensitive issue considering how most of us who I know actually visits my blog are brought up with the whole Eastern culture which always refrains us from doing "bad stuff" for "our own good" y'know.

Like you can't wear black during CNY 'cause it's a stupid taboo. So what about wearing black? Misfortune? pfft. Premarital sex, hey, now that's an interesting topic. But y'know, actually only really stupid people will not know what the withdrawal method is. I'm sure Science teachers all over have gone over the topic of reproductive systems and unravelled that sneak peak that's not actually written in the textbooks. Why don't they put withdrawal in text books? Because it's so easy to do and cheap (well, no experience for me. Oh SORRY, go ask a pro on how it's done if you're curious lol), you could even save money from buying condoms! That's what.

But that's not my topic. It's somewhat related, but it's a different thing.
Alright. I'm sure all of you have heard about the word masturbade.
The definition is the product of masturbating (cum, jizz, semen, spunk, etc). according to Urban Dictionary
Ok, that's something new. I've always thought that it was a verb...
So there's actually masturbate as well. Difference is -ade is a noun and -ate is a verb so catch the drift?Ok LOLZ, some of these definitions are so ridiculous but because their funny, I'll just include them anyways. XD
1. masturbate4288 up, 636 down love it hate it
All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank.
Vote for the clit commander. and may the clit live on
2.masturbate3095 up, 546 down love it hate it
What you do when there is nothing to do.
When I woke up in the middle of the night, I took off my clothes and started to masturbate.
by KawaiiAnime Nov 2, 2003 share this
3.masturbate2091 up, 272 down love it hate it
To sexually exite yourself until you reach a climax. With males it involves using their hand to 'jack off', that is holding their dicks and moving their hand back and forth. Females usually use their fingers to rub around and enter the vaginal area.
"His girlfriend was miles away and he was very loyal so whenever he got horny he masturbated to satiate his thirst for sexual activity"
4.masturbate1976 up, 320 down love it hate it
1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
by Jake Apr 22, 2005 share this
5.masturbate1412 up, 209 down love it hate it
To sexually pleasure oneself to orgasm. Usually better than sex, because, not only do you know what you want better than a partner, there's no risk of STD or pregnancy! Everyone does it, though most people don't like to admit to it.
Betty: I masturbate, what's wrong with it?

Jane: Ew! You mean you touch yourself?

Betty: Yes...

Jane:...is it good?
by LuffySP Jun 28, 2005 share this
6.masturbate1358 up, 333 down love it hate it
the process of pleasing yourself sexually.
the old man masturbated until he died.
by the meat man Nov 1, 2002 share this
7.masturbate1413 up, 517 down love it hate it
to increase the surface temperature of your ship's main cannon with rapid linear motion
I masturbated and sunk your battleship

The last definition is epic. I masturbated and sunk your battleship! Banzai I'd say lol. It's like masturbading can actually save the world.

Guess what, it helps to maintain world population by killing old people who overexcite themselves. Lolwin.

O yeah, it's a +1 in maintaining loyal relationships orz. Not to forget, it's something we do when we've nothing to do? Ok... so as I blog now, I'm indirectly 'cause I've nothing else better to do? Ok, that sounds off. ._.

Best part is it doesn't STD, holy crap, so it's actually good/not good to masturbate 'cause it decreases birth rate and decreases possible rape activities whilst not killing unless if you're at that age where you'd be heart-stricken with stroke if you're not careful. *applause*

Ok, now the fun parts all over. I agree with definition no.5, especially the part saying everyone does it though most people don't like to admit it.
I'll be very open now. I've done it before. Have you? It's just a part of human nature. Who doesn't? Unless if you're like really very angelic lol. If you are, I give you Godly credits for that since I'm a hardcore practitioner of abstinence.

Yes, i've done it. But I abstain from doing it. Why? God knows why. Probably just because I feel it's wrong. Why do I feel it's wrong then? Is it because of the cultural taboos I've been brought up with? Well.. not like my family ever mentions it in the house anyways. And I've yet to attempt asking them about it, which is kinda peculiar 'cause I'm having a super open discussion here about my own privacy and the whole world is about to know about it if they stumble upon my blog... XP

If I were to count... it's just too many times. I don't even remember. There are days when I even do it more than once. But honestly, I don't feel good doing it at all. Everytime after masturbating, I feel depressed, disappointed, and sad. How come? Isn't one supposed to feel sexual pleasure and like really have fun with alone time aka syok sendiri by getting all high and excited?

Hm.. I don't. And everytime I do, I feel guilty. So I abstain. Best record track is 1 month of complete absolute abstinence. And that was sometime last year. Now.. I'm still counting. It's been almost 17 days I think.

Why did I decide to talk about this anyways?
Because I think... there might be others out there who face the same situation as I do.
At least if I blog it here, they won't be so embarrassed and dumbfounded by their own sexual activities. I'm being open here, so don't hesitate to leave a comment! assholes -.-
And yes, this has certainly a part to do with my honesty policy.

But to be honest, it was triggered by a certain friend's openness. And I kinda respect one of my friends from America who actually talked to me about sex and all as though it was some class lecture about human anatomy. He really just didn't mind sharing even the people he's had sex with to me just because I asked who he dated and stuff. No, I won't tell you who he is XP. That's his privacy. But Western and Eastern cultures have very vast differences so that's probably the largest most main cause of why we are the way we are and the same case for them. So my point is, if people like him them are already in such deep shit with their sexual lives, just exactly how how deep is our shit?

Masturbating is just a small chapter of this whole hump of crap. God knows why people daren't speak about it. Well, I also daren't before but I am now am I not? It's been around since like the beginning of cavemen, yeah, I didn't say mankind yet people ignorantly treat it as some void material and keep it to themselves. When asked about it, they pretend to know nothing of it whereas during those private times, their the ones practicing them all high and mightily unbeknown to all his/her peers.

In my opinion, the nature of the world is this : if you have a problem with something, you solve it. I have a problem with masturbation, so I'm attempting to solve it. I may not know exactly how or I most probably won't be able to stop it completely anyways, but, at least i'm still trying.

Some of you are probably wondering if my gf knows about this if it just so happened to cross your mind
Hey C! Sorry to disappoint you but I masturbate! I'm not really all that clean as you think I am... Well... I'm taking that almost all the other dudes in the world are no differents. How about you?disregard that lol

Ok, now I'll be attempting to related masturbation with the topic of virginity. Yes. Well, my mom did tell me once after the news like broadcasted this hooked dicktrap to be placed in a female's vagina so that it'd somehow cripple rapists dicks which is kinda kewl actually that for as long as you stuck something into you vagina if you're a gal of course... then technically, it'd make that whatever mucus inside or so scientifically known as the hymen there to burst, therefore making you a non-virgin after you do whatever with your vagina.

Uh before that, do virgins exists between men? YES. Lolz, virgins aren't just girls. And technically speaking, almost the whole world views virgins as girls. God knows why everyone's so sexist to say that if you're a virgin, you've gotta be a girl! Pfft.. Gender bias.

But considering how controversial masturbading already is, it's really quite hard to tell if a man's a virgin. I don't even know that I am. 0.0 The general understanding of virginity is that for as long as you haven't had any sexual intercourse with anyone of your sexual counterparts, you're pretty much a virgin.

For gals, fortunately for them it's much easier to diagnose their virgin complex. It's so unfair that gals have like gynecologist whereas guyz don't have like.. I donno, penicologists? Well.. gals do suffer more than guys 'cause of their menstrual cycle and menopause threating them. Not to mention they're more prone to breast cancers. For guys.. Uh.. there's almost no way to determine whether you're virgin or not lol sad to say...

1.virgin110 up, 51 down love it hate it
Regardless of what many may say, a female can have her hymen penetrated and still be a virgin, the determining factor would be was there a horny individual present, who still roams this earth in a concious state, that was responsible. Anyone who has been involved in a blowjob, has been involved in anal penetration, has felt up, been felt up, or has been involved in some other form of heavy petting is not really a virgin. Using a dildo, some other vibrator, or having your hymen broken during a medical procedure doesn't count. Regardless of how you look at it, the number of female virgins is microscopic compared to that of the number of male virgins.
Male virgins of a certain age are considered societal pariahs, outcasts shunned and ridiculed by their conformist, mainstream peers as well as society and popular culture. Female virgins often pass them up in favor of far more promiscuous males who are far too overpriveledged (these are also eleveated to a higher ranking amongst the Jr. High, High School, and college/University set. See jerk). Gay males, however, are highly attracted to these tabula rasas of the sex world. Believe it or not, there are many males who have never even locked lips, even until their 30's, and they aren't necessarily ugly, smelly etc. They may just be shy, picky, and/or dont get out much, and may revile those celebrated "normal" people.
Female virgins are similarly ridiculed by their conformist mainstream peers as well as society, but unlike the males of their kind are seen as prime conquests
more...
2.GREEK VIRGIN44 up, 54 down love it hate it
A greek virgin is a geek male, who only apparently gets laid when no one is around. YOu have never seen this male with a female companion, however when he goes to Greece and no friends are around he comes back with stories that he has had sexual encounters with multiple women. A greek virgin is the loser of the group, never gets any action, but miraculously everytime no one is around he is an alpha male and has all kinds of sexual encounter stories with multiple females.
Friend goes to greece, comes back telling you he slept with 7 girls. GREEK VIRGIN

Everytime you go out, he is watchign you get action. When you are not around, he is the biggest stud. GREEK VIRGIN

You can also refer to guys like this by their first name. Ie BILL VIRGIN! But for this to apply they have to be greek.
3.Dalai10 up, 3 down love it hate it
the oldest male virgin alive.
He's a virgin?! Shit yo...I'm not surprised, who's gonna get laid with a name like Dalai?
4.Long-Term Male Sexual Abstinence (LTMSA)31 up, 2 down love it hate it
A condition, typically considered a severe form of long-term virginity, affecting 0.8% of U.S. males approximately 25 years of age or older. Symptoms usually include a combination of the following: the inability to interact with females, shame, depression, loneliness, shyness, and large abundances of pornography (usually very graphic and strange). Clinical research and testing are currently inconclusive as to why males suffer from LTMSA, however it is theorized that an extreme psychological episode from a males’ childhood may be the cause. Previously LTMSA was a relatively unknown condition in mainstream psychohistory until the film “The 40 Year Old Virgin” premiered that brought this condition to the forefront of mainstream research.

LTMSA is credited being first diagnosed in 1955 by Dr. Steven J. Bishop of Georgetown University.
Long-Term Male Sexual Abstinence (LTMSA) usually results in one of two outcomes:
1. Lonely night alone and a bad hand cramp in the morning or
2. Your friends sending out a "Code Orange" alert when there is a possibility for the male in question to lose their virginity.
5.cock-strong6 up, 4 down love it hate it
A man that is unusually phyically strong for his size because of lack of sexual activity. It is believed that sexual activity temporarily physically weakens a man. Professional athletes abstain from sex prior to an athletic contest. College coaches keep their athletes under wraps the night before a game because of this. Professional boxers abstain from sex during training before a fight.

A male virgin.
A dude like that, I normally would have kicked his ass....but that big country-assed motherfucker was cock-strong. He probably ain't never had no pussy in his life.
6.Atomic Virgin8 up, 1 down love it hate it
A female who can convince a member of the male persuasion to do anything that she desires without taking off her pants.

Originated from the Calgary, AB band The Atomic Virgins.
"The day she loses her virginity is the day the world explodes, she's the Atomic Virgin"
7.Virgin98 up, 26 down love it hate it
A male or felmale that has not yet ingaged in sex, becuase they are smart. Important to remember girls are not the only ones how save themselves.
Girl: I love you but Im not ready to have sex
Boy: Okay, are you sure?
Girl:Yes
Boy:okay, to tell you the truth im a virgin too

Goddamn Blogger's starting to annoy me a whole lot.
1. Why does my page suddenly have a godforsaken scrollbar for left and right?
2. Everytime I type now, it doesn't bloody go down automatically anymore and I've to hit ENTER
3. My FONTS abruptly changes everytime I paste something else from another source onto this page
4. Blogger is retarded!

Whatever that was, back to the topic. Well, as you can see, Definition #7 defines both male and female virgins exists, not just gals. So yeah... don't get that wrong impression.

The part about atomic virgin's pretty awesome dontcha think? Now that it's there, it kinda reminds me of Atomic Kitten. Hmm.. I'm wondering if the wordplay was a ploy of'em employers in the record companies.

Cock-strong huh. Heard of stories about it before. People who abstain kao kao and get si pek jia lad powers because they preserve their sperms or some bullshit. Hm, my dad kinda believes in this kinda stuff though I'm not sure myself if he's really as clean as he so claims ._.

Dalai... I kinda agree with the commentor from the original site lol. Who'd want to get laid with a virgin called Dalai? XD

The Greek Virgin! The sorry guy who sux big time with his same flock but once he gets out and returns, amazing stories suddenly appear. Kinda reminds me of the guy with the certain green jacket. I mean.. got into a relationship after a gal accidentally fell onto him and kissed his lips? He must've been in dreamland or something methinks 'cause if you think of it in a logical possible way and attempt it yourself, the chances for that to really happen is like 1 outta infinity. Well, I'm not even sure if he's telling the truth or not till now. Rumor is he broke up with that gal already. Anyways, that was randumb. ><

Now... LTMSA which stands for Long Term Male Sexual Abstinence. Lolz.. looks like I'm gonna be joining this party soon. Or not, since I have C. But that'd depend on how she reacts after reading this post lol. if she wants to break up with me, tough luck. Honesty has to come first and if that's the price to pay... well, I can't force her anyways...
But who'd have known that this is actually a psychological illness. I wonder if that Greek Virgin from before suffers from it lol. He kinda suffers the same symptoms. Especially the part about pornographic/horny material. Check his ero visual books lolz if you do know who he is...

Well, what intrigues me the most is the first definition up there. It sorta gives an answer to the statement my mom gave me about her theory or virginity. So according to that definition, putting dildos or vibrators in or having your hymen broken from some medical procedure does not take away your virginity. Well.. if you believe in that kinda consensus then congrats and hail all women in the world. Have all the excitement you desire in this world with your vagina 'cause you'll still remain a virgin for as long as you're doing it alone by yourself. Good God...

Yeap.. so don't go around blowjobbing or sodomizing etc.too! Kerana cik adik bukan sebenarnya anak dara lagi kalau cik adik berbuat sedemikian. Cun giler kan?
Well, but then again, it's always up to you to make up what you see in this world.
The world depends on how one sees it anyways. And the truth you see is what you make of it.
So from all these, what truth do you see? It's for you yourself to discern.

To me, well, lets just say innocence is rare these days. And innocence ain't exactly holy anymore. It's more of a sin now. You can't just blame rapists for raping their victims these days. It's like, sometimes you have to also look at why the victims are so prone to be targeted. If people knew about the existence of rapists, wouldn't they be more cautious and equipped with more knowledge to combat such issues? Especially the parents of the victims. Lets not forget the parents of the rapists as well. Just a little thing more to add though, rape by the way has already been in this world far longer than the age of Malaysia itself. So why are there still people who're ignorant about it? If people aren't taking initiative to educate themselves, it's kinda creating padan muka scenarios to those who fall prey dontcha think? But then again, I know I've to understand that some people are just not fortunate enough to have the luxury or priviledge.
But well, that's my opinion.

Marion, my lecturer, once said in her lecture that the more knowledge you have over something, the more power you have to decide whether or not you want to like it or dislike it.

I guess this concludes my blog for today. Hope you learned something from my post ^^
So masturbade, virgin. Whatever man. They're just topics to discuss about. Now, what's so sensitive about them anyways? XD

1 comment:

O C said...

owh.. liddat? XD kk open for disc!