Wednesday, August 31, 2011

242/365-11 I was told

That I was a self-pitying piece of shit! (alright, maybe not all that brutal, but somewhere along the lines hohoho.)

Well anyways, here's a surprise for you...

Nude practice. Face screwed up naturally.
Need moar practice!

I admit that I'm a self-pitying piece of shit :D So.. whatcha gonna do about it? Fufufufu... Because self-pity is so awesome that everything I ever think about only revolved around me... and nothing else WAHA!

So you'd probably do nothing right? No worries, even if you did something, or not, it doesn't matter to me. 

Because I just plain don't care P:

On another note, I found out about something I shouldn't have found out. Either way, I already broke a code yesterday by countercommenting that person's comment. What was it for you say? MY EGO of course! :D

 and Happy Independence Day
to all non-Prinny beings!
because "independence"
doesn't exist in Prinny dictionary.


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

241/365-11 Girls

hmm.. did I get better during sem break. Maybe? :D

Just too bad I won't be joining
the initial batch I started with
for the final sem. Oh well.

Mistakes mistakes.
Why must thou be
such a pain in the ass?


Monday, August 29, 2011

240/365-11 Lets Start With A Hand

It's almost there, but not quite there yet. NEED MOAR ANATOMY RESEARCH

SO...I was talking to this person who was from Hospitality major one day, and we had a little discussion over operational mistakes.

I just said that I'd prefer to know the mistakes and let the boss know so that he can calculate the costs and profit if needed. Then she came back with something that really surprised me, "I don't think that's really necessary 'cause mistakes happen in managements all the time. I mean, there are people who're trying to work hard behind and when the miscoms happen and they make mistakes, it's really not their fault. It really sucks you know when you work so hard and then you're expected to pay for all your mistakes."

And.. I concurred. That was a good statement. I do believe that mistakes happen almost all the time. Hitting perfection isn't an easy task. That's something that my bosses are trying to do, but no matter what, some fluke of flaws will still show up somewhere sometime. And it really pains me when they take it out all on the foreign workers. I'm not sure if their distrust towards the foreign workers came from a very bad memory or whatnot, but I know if I'm treated like that, I myself might feel like quitting. It's not like their stupid or anything. They have a language barrier, and sometimes, they need more time to be instructed. But well, a business is always a complex entity

Then again, I think boss is already kind enough to them. He prepares a home for them to stay in, transports them to and fro to work, and even turns a blind eye to the portion of food the workers take during mealtime. The boss might seem like a harsh person, but you'd never see him deprive anyone of any basic necessities. Even clothes, thus the uniforms he loans to the workers. But anyways, there are lotsa misunderstandings going around between the workers and boss. It's just too bad I can't do much to help the situation.

But anyways, my boss's goal is to let a business run itself, not let the business slave-drive you. So I just thought of this silly badge system that might help *crosses fingers*. That is if they even agree to put them on. Gonna show them the next time they appear. Or maybe I'll just make a stash somewhere and keep them for myself fufufu... Never know, one day, I might be
my own boss with a very shady business ohohoho.

Oh, and today, I had one of the most queer moments of my life. I remember warm fuzzy tingles when I look back at that memory. The really good kinda goosebumps. Something similar to happy pheromones? There was this regular. I see him form time to time and today, we sorta finally talked and opened up a little chat. Well, apparently, he was a Christian pastor
also does life talks in campuses and anywhere where his presence is needed. Lol. Whatever it is he's doing, it sounds like a cool job, being a life motivator and all. And yeah, this was actually the first time I'm actually opening up to another fellow Christian after a very very long period of time. And then it just hit me with tears in my eyes that, I was finally able to let go of my prejudice towards the Christians It even kinda hit me that I was ready to rediscover what Christianity meant again. But... I think I'll let that wait for now haha. No rush needed.

And tomorrow finish work at 6pm (i hope)
Then I might pay a visit to William's (if he's open)
Since I heard that he does badges as well ohoho..


Sunday, August 28, 2011

239/365-11 Another Perspective

A village that resides by the river, lush with paddy fields and vegetables farms adorned with hectors of fruit orchards. Within each stride you take, the purity of the air will cleanse you lungs all the way to your soul. And with every stride,
you'd also see the many faces of determination, perseverance and raw hard work, where the people do what they need
in order to survive as a community, and are not bounded by the shackles of economics and currencies.

There' really exist such a place. AK, the guy who drew this and the next few following pictures I'm about to share
is a Karen, an ethnic race in Myanmar. You can read the general info at Wikipedia if you want.  Just type Karen.
My interest in a certain peculiar muffin stopped the moment I saw him writing in his own language.
 The character, the motives, the lines, archs EVERYTHING. It's just such a beautiful writing. It's something
like Pali, but also not. One day, I'll chronicle it properly for you so that you can read all the characters
like A-Z Well, at least i hope I can.
Well, whatever I said before about that quaint paradise really exists. Except that it's not a paradise,
because the Karen people are constantly haunted and tormented by the Burman Government who
always condemn them and mistreat them. The history goes back into a very faraway  time
But what we need to know is that these peaceful have been butchered, massacred, mass raped,
mutilated, comdemned for over 60 years. And still ongoing. So sometimes, I'm actually
pretty kinda glad that I'm still in Malaysia.

And then he tells me that he wanted to go back in about 2 months time.
Seeing family is one, he also left his girl there, and he's a real nurse by profession
Yeap, male nurse. But he's a cool guy as far as I know.
Well, what I can do is just hope for the best for him. Good thing he's just gonna be a medic
in the military camp he's going to. Well whatever it is, massacred, bombed or nuked before, I still
wanna see that place with my own two eyes at least once.  

Ok, my eyes are getting tired so...

I Shall spam today's progress work.,

and feel the need to sleep NAO.

So whoever you ware, cherish the place where you're in,
because for the Karens, the oppression is every single day.
So be glad that you ain't in a whatever-ridden country.


Saturday, August 27, 2011

238/365-11 Not Everything Is Delicious Cake

There is no point in longing for something you know that is beyond your reach
instead, appreciate the things within your reach, the ones you always take
for granted, pay attention to them and don't let them slip away. Because the 
ones beyond your reach will require a lot of sacrifices. And you'd probably 
need to let go of, and ignore a lot of things that come to your way while 
you're at it; something that requires great effort to do. And yet, there's 
a chance you might still not get what you're after in the end as there's 
no such thing as a guaranteed fairytale ending for anything. Even if you 
decide to go after the ones right before you, there is no guarantee. But 
at least you'd know that you didn't turn down the opportunities when it 
dawned on you to cease them. And whatever happened, you know you gave that 
opportunity and yourself a chance, and you experienced whatever you could 
while it lasted. I let go of such opportunities. And I feel pretty stupid. 
All for the sake of a forsaken hope that I still have little to no faith in, 
but still wanna see through it till the end, because I told myself to never
quit in pursuing the things I hold true to myself. I just hate having to give up
y'know? And I did give up on one to make for for another. And that means
I've already given up something before, which makes it sorta ironic in a way.
But since I already gave up before, I'm not about to do it again.

I donno what's better for you, but every person always has at least 3 choices
in every present situation. Stick to Plan A, detour to Plan B or just follow Plan C, 
just plain don't do anything, stone and regret that you never even lifted a finger
to do anything when you were given the chance to. 

And  you're free to interpret the artwork however you life.
Because if anything, I see a helmet. But whatever.


Friday, August 26, 2011

237/365-11 Mindfucked

No no no not this.
Ok, this maybe. Presenting Farruk Nudesticker.

I did not mean, to blow your mind, but that shit happens to me, all the time.
I wished I made that line.
But unfortunately for me,
Jack Black taught me that
in Tencious D.


Thursday, August 25, 2011

236/365-11 Ergh...

When I die one day, I would want to be able to die leaving a happy smile as I draw in my final breathe.

Uh, excuse the feet. Andrew Loomis is just too awesome.

But that's not the case for today. It was because I made the biggest most stupid mistake of the entire morning. It was about mom. She helped to wake me up this morning, and all she asked for was how to scan something, and I flared at her with morning rage, something that I oughtta learn to control the next time it happens. I donno what came over me, but there was a flash of nonsensical nuisance sending its negative vibes towards my brain, still telling me that I'm in semi-hibernation mode and loathe the reality of waking up from slumber when my body has not even had it's share of good sleep to its maximum capacity yet.

Just like how an unfinished storyboard doesn't convey a complete message.

There are certain mornings when you wake up, you felt as though it was a terrible day, and with that kinda mood lingering, what you do to the first thing you see or hear is highly unpredicatable. How I only wished I could've exercised a bit more restraint to some of the words or emotions I've uttered unto my mom when she came to me for help. She's not a fool. She knows, and from the looks of her face turning all silent and solemn, it's a proven fact that I've hurt her. She might not tell, but it's visible to me.

Like doodles that are downright doodlish.

I'm gonna give her a hug. And apologize to her. I have to. She's done so much for the family and I, this shouldn't be the way any son should react to his mother. Her being computer illiterate isn't her fault. She has showered almost 80% of all her time to us, what time does she even have to practice even the slightest keyboard tapping and computer functioning? All her 20% is then spent on her sleep, praying, and guess what she prays for. Family peace.

I lashed at her again when she told me my computer was stuck. It was just the standby interface in which you just have to click my username and we'd be back into the desktop. But the way I said it made her sound like a dumb old goof, which I didn't mean to. But I can't really retract those words now. It's gonna resonate in my mom's head for a while.

Sometimes, I do admit that it's frustrating to go about the things over and over again like how to use the start menu, how to click, what to avoid when surfing the net and whatnot. No, it is frustrating. But I've kept it cool all these time and of all the mornings, just why this morning? I shouldn't be complaining. At all. When she asks me how to do something, I'll just explain to her. And no matter how many times she asks me of the same thing, I'll keep on answering her, and do that for as long as I can. Because not many children have the privilege of repaying back the invisible debts they have to their parents, even if its in a small and tinyway. I don't ever want both my parents to end up like the mother in Qian Bu Gou Yong 2, if you even know what that is.

When I'm completely sober, I can safely say that I have at least an 80% control over my emotions. I just hope that the subconscious 20% doesn't flare up again every now and then. But if I do, I should make it a point to at least say sorry after immediately realizing it.Better yet, I need to learn to have better control of it.

I know it's selfish of me. But I wanna die with a smile, not dying with that one greatest regret in my head. Something that could've been an easy thing to do, yet if done wrongly, will leave a scar that burns ever more so brightly, searing the soul's flesh from within. This might have also been the case for my ex. It's no wonder we're both separated now. I'm such an asshole. I wonder how she even put up with me all this time. But I guess she just got really tired in the end with being caught in between her mom and me. I said I wouldn't blame her and yet see all the blogposts I've made after she left me. Actually I left her. But she pushed me towards another decision she didn't wanna make, as though asking for it straight on. I was infuriated, disappointed, and I gave it to her bluntly Because it was as though she always wanted me to have the blood in my hands. And also because whatever she said to me, my mind read it is she only loved who I was going to be, and not who I was or am. I'm pretty sure she isn't happy. But neither am I. It was a very difficult decision for her to make. I understood that yet why have I been so foolish? I'm such a difficult person. To anyone in general. 

To everyone who's reading this post today, if I've ever hurt you in any way howsoever, be it in the past, right now as you read, or the soon to be future, it might not be much, but you have my deepest sincerest apologies.

And to end, I shall share a video of Steve Jobs.


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

235/365-11 Andrew Loomis Said

Draw at least a hand every day.

And I just tried haha.

Behold a man, a woman, and a sheman.

Yeah. Like humans,  there are also 3
types of people who'd change you
either for better or for worst.

The first kind, will always say that you must change,
thinking that whatever you already are is completely wrong,
and you have to be like him/her or someone better, but not who you are.
The kinda people you'd usually hate in the long run. Because they just do
things in such a linear way without proper explanation that they just tire
out your reasoning and cause you to give up in the end. Because they seek to help,
but not necessarily understand. They want to spread their cause, but at the cost
of being ignorant of the situations other people are pinned into.

Then there's the second kind, who will try to set an example, hoping that you might learn
a few things from him/her that'd make you better or worst. Again, maybe
trying to create a replication of him/herself in others through her own actions.
Not necessarily bad nor good. But these are the respectable figures arounds you,
you admire them for having so much spirit and motivation in doing certain things,
but you're not sure if you wanna follow the same foot steps as that person

But the 3rd is the greatest kind, since they always show up at
the most appropriate moments of your life,  and nudge you towards
a certain direction through an inverted suggestion or slight push, the kind of thing
that you usually won't say no to because it's usually such a great idea
for those moments. As to how do they appear ever so accurately, that's something
noone can answer. It might be pure chance, destiny even, but one thing's for sure,
these people either have a very deep thought, or extremely well thought-out cunning
plots, and what purpose they do things for is often shrouded in mystery,
but ever so more than often, it is believed that they are overly curious with
how events will turn out if set in a certain motion, or just plain wanting to have fun
out of the general ambiguity of the unknown possibilities that could happen. Curious.
These people are like rogues. They go underground whenever their existence is not
needed. And when they resurface, it's always for something important.

These people aren't entirely bad, and they aren't necessarily good either.
I respect these kinda people. Because they have a certain mental capacity
to easily understand the right situations to act upon and what to avoid.
But that doesn't mean I like or dislike all of them. I'm just on the fence.
But I still admire their skills.
Because the third kind is usually
the ones who creates the most drastic
changes in your lives, because they are
the ones who will implant certain thoughts
to you without you even realizing it, and the next
thing you know, you're just moving towards the 
hints given to you by them, and where you end up
later, will always without a doubt be a very different
place from where you were in the beginning.
And you'd realize that, you were different
since you got the mental suggestion from
him or her. Just like how angels and demons
whisper thoughts of good and evil into our ears.

And no, Andrew Loomis did not say that.


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

234/365-11 Nobody Said

That girls

Can't kickass and blow up Mission Impossible style.
And I'm starting to think that art isn't that impossible anymore.
Because Andre Loomis made me realize some cool things.


Monday, August 22, 2011

233/365-11 This Giant Dildo

Is probably gonna make any living thing scream.

Well, that, 
if it was alive.


Sunday, August 21, 2011

232/365-11 I saw someone very handsome.

No shit. He had long eyelashes, sharp chin, fair and smooth complexion, hot smexy lips,
and well, a body that'd blow most girls away at first glance.
One day, I shall draw Prinnies.
Prinny domination.


Saturday, August 20, 2011

231/365-11 Got Inspired

By a certain pink t-shirt. Trust me when I say it's completely unrelated.

Some failed proportions study. Made it wrongly so many times so lost the mood to go any further. Zzzzz.
Should have used the ruler.
Some evil plans for Malaysia 100 years later. Wait for side B...

Welcome to Side B, but I got lost in thought after a while and started practicing hair works.
I still can't understand how Drew Struzan made Ms. Scarlet from Cluedo's hair so...
intricately simplified in a cool way. But i'll learn, somehow.
See the girl in red background? Either way, Drew creates masterpiece works so...

Sorry, I'm running out of pages to draw so I'm moving my pencil along any free
space I can find. Dooooooooooooooodles.

Gesture studies. I love Sierra ^^

Reincarnate now and Valkyrie Randgris will give you a level up kiss!

Being at the new Lunchbox really just changes everything. It gave me time to focus on my drawings now. Because it's not as busy as it was before. I'm just supposed to sit there and take care of the counter. Ocassionally I still do get up and help around. But I still have plenty of time to put into sharpening my techniques. Good thing I promised myself I won't touch anything but reading material or artworks. Because if I were to play games, it's gonna be against my work ethics anyways. And don't worry, my boss specifically told me I was allowed to do my own work while taking care of the counter. And since he said so, and I needed more practice, I don't see why not.

Also I began to realize that when you're out whole day doing something for a living, there are only a few things you'd do during your precious spare time upon returning home (which is only about 4-6 hours max to me if I stretch as far as 3am.) And those things are the ones that really really really matter to you. Everything else are just lost time and waste of memory space in your head. There are still a lot of things I wanna do, but I think those things can fuck off for now P:

My priority is to be better. Everything else
can kiss my ass for all I care. (for now of course)
Oh yeah, and PTPTN. Need to pay them back pretty soon.

The end.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

228/365-11 Unearthly Doodles

One day, a globe like robot is gonna rift Malaysia into 14 parts with a gigantic Suria KLCC logo pattern.

Visual doodles. Unearthly things.

More unearthly things...

Probably an alien form another planet. The proportions are very slender and long after all...

Oh cool, it's Sierra, in a Guillotine Cross outfit
that I'm still not used to. SinX costume BEST!

Even Prinny lovers dood them.


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

227/365-11 Coldsnap

Those who know not love will yearn for them with every passing moment,  and those who've found love will rejoice with every passing day in happiness. But for those whose love have come to pass however, they have nothing left for them but memories dyed in monochrome grey. But there's also the other kind, the kinds who tread the rest of their days in cold shivering numbness, for the poisons of love are nothing compared to the chills of the frigid winter mountains.

I'm never proud to be one of the other kinds.
Never proud of it, but never once ashamed.
Because I know I gave all I had when my chance came.


Monday, August 15, 2011

226/365-11 Look, a Fuckhole!



w t f...?


Duh. WTF did you expect? Free porn? Go get yourself a premium membership already you horny bastert F3

Oh, and if you're up for more mindfucks, try this...

Just remember to read
the first comment from the top.