Monday, October 31, 2011

302/365-11 Waging War




And so I said to myself:
What a wonderful world.
If I had no distractions whatsoever
what would I spend time doing?

Draw so much to the point that
nobody can say I suck a drawing no more.

Time to paint P:

Saturday, October 29, 2011

301/365-11 Rush-ish-Design-ish-Job.

how this ^ happened.

the design wanted to be emulated

The overnight design. Nice but got an e-mail in the morning that it looks good but need
some adjustments. So he asked me to go meet him to do it. Was a bit reluctant since I wanted
to do work and wall, and I expected myself to be done before 3pm.

The concepts worked out in front of him.

Chose this in the end because he liked the first one,
but he didn't want it too look to much like it's a direct borrowed
reference of Mr&Mrs Fragrance's logotype.
'cause he needs to send the design
to the print guy on the day itself (today donno when)

Yeah. And I got an unexpected payment 0.o
I declined at first but heck, after that he just gave
it anyway and I was thinking that I still had my own
financial debts to settle regarding my 2 separate bank
accounts. So I cast aside my shame for a bit and took
the cash. Man, financial burden sucks XD

I lazy put watermarks. Maybe not now la. But next time.
Perhaps I still haven't got tricked by people who'd steal my artwork
or whatever, but not like I have great design anyways. So why bother?

Already watermarked. I don't care if you use my own artwork,
but this is a company work so. Yeah. If you still wanna steal it, go ahead,
I wanna see how far your copying skills can go XD
If you wanna use it or whatever, use la. I couldn't care less really.
Since this is just the jpeg anyways. Even if you print it and blow it up,
it won't look good. And if you trace it, well, enjoy your work XE

But it wouldn't harm to just ask permission sometimes. Heh.


Friday, October 28, 2011

300/365-11 OO man, 65 days left.




*the ones with the asterisk are the edited pages. And I refined my cover! lect said last page not really necessary. Can cut out and just jump from when the girl sat next to the boy and the last scene on the last page. So I'll be able to save 1 page of work there ^^

Oh, and I didn't notice that all pictures clicked will have a lightbox effect now. Sorry la, I rarely click people's pictures le. Mine even more rare. But I think it just happened recently. Because I did click on my own my own images a few times back while the new blogger interface was still running. And I just read on Blogger Buzz that says.. well, the lightbox effect is coming into place. So yeah.
Were you expecting something else?


Thursday, October 27, 2011

299/365-11 Slowness Extraordinare

This week has been especially slow on/to me.

Some out lines I did for the first act in storyboard, and that act alone has about 9 pages? Each page has 5 frames. So.
Yeah, do the math. And I have 3 Act ahahahahahahahahahahahah. And I still need to paint them in a very finished format of artwork too. Too awesome to be true really.

Didn't mean for it to be soooooooooo retardedly slow. But well, yeah, it's like that.
Goddamn guilty conscience, if you exist, why aren't you helping getting things done?
But blaming you won't get things done either way aye? *sigh*

All this works were rushed in class. But fortunately, it was just progress report, and the lecturers were commenting on some other students uncommented acts. So I managed to slide pass through I guess. Which reminds me that they didn't even bother to take attendance. Oh wait, I think they did. Either way, being fortunate in this situation isn't something I should be getting happy and contended about, but the exact opposite. Got shitloads of work to do. So.. yeah.

Osla osla... how do you intend to die?
Such an interesting question.


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

298/365-11 Simple Wonders

So this one time last Friday, I had a short brief meet with her. It was one of our short
and simple meetings that felt sweet and not pushy that felt kinda nice and warm.
That day, she passed me an Art Therapy book she borrowed from her library.
And before we walked away from one another, she also passed me this nice
pink notebook with sparkly glitter all over it. And when I opened it up, it felt
like I was brought back to all those days. That first month on how everything
began and progressed. I'm somehow ashamed of myself that I didn't save all those
messages in my phone, and yet, someone did.

Memories, captured in pencil and paper. So beautiful yet simple.
Nothing an artist can do. But something any sincere heart can.

This... Haha, was that stupid message I sent when it felt like it was doomsday that day. urgent message I sent
to her that night, when I realized that an opportunity like that wouldn't come to me again twice.  Wanna know
something cool? She actually didn't see the message at all, until the last like 5 minutes of my waiting. And
then she rushed down to see me, albeit appearing quite calm. But she couldn't really hide her shivering legs
from sheer nervousness. I was stuttering like mad too when I spoke the first few words. XD

This... she, I, we, were both afraid that one day, we might come to dislike each other after revealing our true natures to
one another. I told her that that's what learning from one another is all about, and if worst come to worst, hey, we tried
right? Things just didn't work out. And guess what. IT DID. For a while. And thank god I made that  post from the other
time. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have cried, and we wouldn't have gotten back together. Haha. Funny stuff.

Sweet insecurities. But it was a good thing I made up my mind in time. In the end, the choice was pretty obvious, right?
I still love the other girl, although I already sent it to the darkest depths of my conscience. But what mattered was
who did I love and cared for more/most in the end. And the answer was right in front of me. An unnecessary question
for an already answered problem. ^^

OHHH, THIS! This was after the 1 week period before we officially became a couple, 'cause when we first confessed
to one another, we both decided and agreed to test each others waters first, to see how things went and all. Then on
Wednesday, I think, I decided to abandon all feelings I had for the other girl, who I was still waiting half-heartedly
and focused on this beautiful person who was right in front of me. Haha... thinking about that day just reminds me
how awesome that decision was. I couldn't be bothered now about what might've happened if I didn't whatever back then. Lol.

Hehe. Our first couple rule.......Shit. I think I broke this rule so many times. GYAH. No.. no, I'm sorry...
I should've always respected you. Honesty was just stupid. Back then it was awesome.
Then somewhere along the way, it got blurred. And then we started getting heated up
with one another. Then BOOM. Separated like broken twigs. And.... ironically,
honesty was what brought us back together. Despite all those pissed posts I
made back at those times, I forgot to show the other side, the blue side, which I always had
at the back of my head, defending her and all. But before then, I told myself to choose
a side, or I'll be forever confused between what's right in a relationship of two.  But
I just couldn't stand it. hating her. Disliking her. It made my brain itch. Hence, the post.

Like I said, honesty was awesome back then. And is more awesome now, 'cause we finally hit the stage where we can
set most of our egos aside and actually listen to one another carefully and sincerely, to see if we can work something
out if the matter we are being honest about poses as a problem to the two of us. Our relationship.. is very simple.
I wanna be honest to her. She wants to be honest with me too. I'm scared of hurting her feelings, and so is she.
Haha, try solving that sorta moral dilemma XD

Cherish people. In small ways. It makes a lot of difference.  Oh, and I'm supposed to SMILE :D

Oh, I remember now. I was trying to solve the problem of how to tell that other girl who I was waiting for about
what happened. To my surprise, everything was quite brisk and easy. And after it was done, boy did I feel light.
So light that I could float like a balloon in Up. Haha. And I was sorta pushy on the love part. Pushy in the sense
that I want her to decide whether or not she wants me to love her first, before she can decide whether she wants to
love me back. It's kinda stupid but yeah, I was asking her permission for me to fully love and care for her. Silly thing.

Yeap.. REEAALLY PUSHY. Sorry. I was insecure in my own ways.

Haha, she said yes already somewhere around here XD.  So I started saying I love you and really mean it with all my
heart, like I was trying to focus a telepathic command onto someone lol. It took her some time to warm up and say it
back to me. It was nerve-wrecking for her to say it to me, 'cause she's really never been with guys before. But she tried.
She didn't mean it at first, but it was sincere in the sense that she wasn't sure if she could love me yet, but she really
wanted to believe that it's true and just see if saying it repetitively would actually make her mean it next time.
FYI, yes, she meant it after a few more tries. Not only because she wanted to believe it. But maybe because...
Her feelings for me grew stronger overtime, and saying it over and over broke the ice for her. Now, I think she says
that more often than I do. I should win back my title :E

Gratitude. If you don't express it, then what's the point of being grateful?

It wasn't just because of the Nickelback song. Goddamn sutpid wet drippy feeling down my chest made me scared and
all chickened to my core about me dying. But y'know what, everytime I cycle through a busy road, I imagine myself
being hit by a speeding vehicle, and think to myself that no death can be worse than a traffic accident as sudden and
brutal as a motorbike speeding at you at 120km/h, a truck rolling over you at more than 3 tonnes weight, or a kancil,
with the driver not paying attention to the road while he talks to the phone with one hand, not doing a proper turn
and still pumping down to full throttle. Or well, cycling into a moving vehicle and fly a few yards away while coming
in contact with the ground a few times during the flight. Heh. Nope, nothing is as scary as that XD

I'm a lucky man. 
Really lucky. 
Fortunate even.

And I'll always be grateful.
To know what it feels like to love
someone who loves you back in return.
Because before her, all I knew was loving
someone with all my heart and not asking
for anything in return.

I'm still applying the same principles.
Only that the same thing is being done unto me.
So I'm grateful. So very enormously grateful. 

Sorry for taking up so much of your time,
reading this nonsense. But I hope
 some of them made sense to you