Wednesday, February 29, 2012


Was on Facebook and saw something my brother posted.

I saw Cleste's post, tried googling, but nothing much turned up.
Maybe I just hit the wrong keywords or something.

Either way, read. He basically summed everything up of whatever
that is to know about LYNAS and the rare-earth thingy.

And since I'm pretty ill-informed of this, I shall speak no further
and let y'all digest the info there. Know that it's in BM though.
Google translate helps a bit.

But I'm sure it won't be a problem for any fellow educated
Malaysians out there ^^ OC

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

Won Best Feature Film for Oscars 2011! Watch to know why :D
You won't regret this 15 minutes! ^^

And do check out the comment below the video at Youtube :)



Grammy 84th Oscar Awards.

First time watching such a touching
award ceremony.

Didn't even know of really good movies
titles too. Until I saw it of course. Really
need to get my hands on the video and
make it go viral to the world. It was just
that good.

It was pretty great, the whole jig.
There was the Humanitarian awards,
where Oprah, one other guy and someone
got awarded for their astounding service to
both the world of television and as visionaries
to the world.

Oh, a Palestinian documentary film about
ladies losing their faces to the collaterals of
wars and such won best documentary feature.
Saw Sandra Bullock cry there. I teared up too.
Such a beautiful sight. I believe the film's name
to be Losing Face.

The host this year was amazing. I forgot his name.
Found him! Billy Crystal to the right :D

Cirque Du Soleil's performance was phenomenal.
I can only imagine what it's like to be in the real
audience seat and watching magic come to life.

And there was this small part, about some indie
group of people who were nominated for feature
animation, about 15 minutes long.

For once I thought, maybe art could get me there.

A dream nonetheless. But if there's anything closer
to reach for, I'd like to get myself a copy of Hugo
and Warhorse when I have the chance. Maybe
Moneyball too.

And lets not leave out The Artist too. Silent film in
the modern day? Count me in! Won best movie of
the year, the actors won best actor awards, and oh
yeah, best original score too!

Oh yeah, Black Swan Padme made a great speech to
all the best leading male actors nominees too. And congrats
to the Iron Lady for winning best leading actress! I've got you
all wrong. I'm gonna watch your movie. You just wait.

Thanks Astro. You've changed my life for the better.
If only you weren't on more than half  a day everyday 
then maybe I could get more work done pfft. Just this
one time.

Ok well, there was also History HD and Dog Whisperer.
But other than that. Meh. OC

Sunday, February 26, 2012

So High

It's funny how it took me this small magical
moment of pure chance to make me realize
again what makes me so happy that I could
literally just die happy the next minute or so.

Of course, death isn't an option.

At least not yet P:

So I was out visiting Uncle at Comics Corner
Atria, where the weak-beated heart of a mall
once *ahem* reigned.

I was there to unveil the myth of Toyzbar taking
over his shop by force by chance. Boy am I glad
I was wrong.

Uncle's still doing great as always. Got some cards
from him for a snag. Kinda got a hang of haggling with
him. Man, I'm such a leeching-bloodsucker sometimes.

But hey, at least I'm still giving him business right?
Kinda one of the reasons why I still go there. Just
to support him.

Rumor has it that he's pretty wealthy though. But
who am I to know? *shrugs*

So I met this guy at the store. He was looking at my
purchase at the counters, so he presumed that I had
a deck, in which I did, and we continued to play a
casual game.

He intro'd himself as Kah Chen, if I head it right. And
we went to the game immediately.

Someone else dropped by, forgot his name. We ended
up making some racist Malay jokes without realizing that
there was a full group of Malays just sharing the table behind
us. Good thing nothing happened. *phew* Should have threw
more racists insults in the air Better watch my sorry mouth lest
I get my butt literally busted one fine sunny day.

So yeah, we were playing, and he was playing this really janky
deck. Green. Beat him to a pulp I guess. He won a few games.
I remember winning more though. Probably just 1 win more than
him or something liddat.

The funny part was that in between the game, he keeps getting this
calls from "Dear" and "Dad". And the way he replies to the phone
is just so hillarious. Makes me wanna die laughing haha.

Then he explained that he's needed in a function elsewhere and needs
to go in about half an hour or so. By then, we already finished a few
games. So I was actually pretty contended already.

Not until I played the last game. Oh wait, the second last was funny
too. We both drew really crappy hands and folded together to begin
a new hand lolz.

And there's where the fun starts. We were screaming like mad cows
during the game. I think. I remember having a hilarious amount of life
due to my lifegain effect from one of my creatures. And he had a mass
of creatures, riding against me on the opposite side.

I thought I was about to lose.

A normal game would give us 20 life.

He had 12. I had 37.

My creatures were locked and he had an advantage.
A 7/7 creature that can't be touched by any creatures.
So he just needed 6 turns.

I got him to a 7 poison count. Having the opposing player
down to 10 poison also allows you to claim victory. I was 2
turn away from victory.

Until he made a decision to use Overrun.

He even had a 19/19 trample.

After distributing damage amongst all my blockers
and his attackers, I survived with an astounding 1life.
And swung the final 2 poison for the win.

He was in joyful pain. I guess. I donno how to describe it.
It's like, he's so sad that he lost but he's so happy that the
game was so amazingly close-tied and awesome to the max.

Well, at least that was how I saw it.

We even made a joke about being good friends with
2 of our cards. I remember making a remark like, "Uh..
I'll remember to add you on Facebook lol."

And we just laughed haha.

Man. Magic used to be very fun. But it sorta loses this
sensation once it begins to enter the world of competitive
sportsmanship. People in the tournaments are really dead
serious, and it's just so stressful to play with them sometimes.

They reminisce about mistakes, contemplate the past and
revise their strategies very closely like they are sergeants
leading and army to battle. The mood is often killing.
But I guess that just comes naturally with competition.

And the funny part is that a lot of this people actually
kinda traded their life for Magic. They spend so much
on them, but they can't seem to knock down the Malaysian
top 8. So. Sometimes I just ask myself if it's all worth it.

I do want to enter nationals one day. Being able to fly
across countries for free, play with pros of different
nationales, and enter the Magic Hall of Famer. And
maybe snag the highest prize pot of RM36k too.

But when you actually calculate it, you'd have probably
spent more than 2k just to get all the right cards somewhat.
Sure, tickets are free, but travel expenses aren't haha.

But I guess I'll leave this thought for another date. It's not
like I'm giving up on Magic anytime soon. So why think
about it so much?

I guess it just saddens me sometimes to see people like that.
The ones who go head over toes just over one silly game.
Man, if I were a girlfriend to that certain guy and if he
complains about stuff like that to me, I can try to understand,
but I'll get turned off by his lacking sense of realism if given
enough time.

I mean.

Serious is serious la. So more often that not, when I play
with'em serious people, I just act like I'm serious. Then
I do abrupt joyful busts in between lolz. Just for the lolz.

Hobby sports are meant to be fun. Are they really? 0.o

I mean, if you wanna stress, why not stress about something
more important like your real life issues right? But maybe it's
just me lolololz.

So anyways, enough with this. You're probably tired of
reading this anyways.

Just wanna say that I've found my route to Sunway Giza,
and that when I was going back, someone told me of a
shorter route, in which I might have misheard his directions,
took several too much turns, ended up on the mountainous
side of Damansara, even passed by RRIM, constantly
chasing after signboard depicting the words SHAH ALAM^
board after board.

And then I saw a signboard that said

At first, I was like @_@.
Then I just went XD

It's been a long while since I've actually
cycled like there was no end to tomorrow.
And for once, my happines went so high up
I didn't even realize how happy of man I was
until maybe today. Foolish ol'me oh boy.

Life is good.


It's great. OC

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Free Movies

Haaaaaaaaaaaaa, watched Man on a Ledge and
The Descendants today yesterday with my gf cuz
she had free tickets!/edit (she paid through Groupon)
free from CIMB Youth /edit

Man on a Ledge satisfied my expectations of the
movie. I thought it was gonna be a smart thriller
movie with lotsa reasons and purposes for
whatever it is supposed to be done there.

And. It. Was. AWESOME.

The Descendants... IT WAS GREAT! Well,
supposed to be. According to my friends.
And I thought it was good too. But
I guess my mind just couldn't register it.


I mean, it's the part where you just got all
fired-up after you watch and action-packed
movie and then you enter a mellow slow-paced
drama about relationships and it just begins to....

The Descendents is good The Descendents is Good!



I'm never ever gonna watch a fast-paced movie first
anymore if I know I'm gonna watch a slow and calmly
mellow movie afterwards.

The mood just doesn't click anymore y'know. Ugh.
Might as well just watch 2 action movies straight
or 2 romantic movies straight =_=

And the funny part is that my gf also feels the same way.


*current state - not in the mood to go out or dine out with friends P:
assignments on priority ohohoho

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Valentine True Story

"A relationship is based on trust, and trust needs to be earned. But these days, people tend to forget that to earn trust, sometimes offering it is the best way to make the magic happen."

you wanna read my Valentine's story? well, here ya go~

Woke up with a call from my girlfriend.
As I went out to open the gate I just went @_@

Squinted my eyes.

Rubbed them.

Yeap. She brought me this giganormous teddy bear
giganormous teddy. Outteds Mr. Bean's.
Man. And I thought I was gonna get it 
when I have a space of my own. Didn't
know it was gonna come this soon :D

We originally wanted to bake cookies today.
Oatmeal cookies, the first cookies that were so
sweet and warm in a special way that it just
lights you up with each lovely bite.

Because it's been spiced with lotsa love.

Best cookies ever.
Couldn't make them

Too bad we couldn't make it today. :(:(:(

Well, she's got stuff to do. She made it to the shorlisted
candidates of college tutors or something. People responsible
with coaching the coming batch of med students. Sorta like giving
senior students an opportunity to be great role models to their younger
peers. So her being busy is something to be proud of. Her responsibilities,
my pride ^^

We can always enjoy our moments together some other time anyways.
I mean, even if the world ends in November, we all still have important
things to do. And we still have at least 8 months to do it. So why rush it?


I also brought kitteh in for a while. And she went up
the staircase and poofed like a ninja. The next thing
we knew, she was on a ledge and about to fall. I tried to
catch her but failed.

Because she didn't fall of completely.


So after that I put her back into her cage lolz.

YX seemeed pretty busy. Facing her laptop screen and all.
Oh well. Can't be helped I guess. She's serious with her work after all.
So when I was hanging out the clothes to dry, I kinda sneaked away from her
with my wallet and keys to fetch some peach cakes.

I didn't know if it was gonna be available today at
Giant's branch, but I just went to try my luck y'know.

Sometimes miracles happen when you want them to.



Even the branch manager got taken aback
by my surprising expression. It's as if peach cake
from Secret Recipe only comes once in a full moon
(which they do in reality. The only branch that supplies
it constantly with fresh peaches is the one at Curve/Ikano)

Got the cake and sneaked back in. 

She didn't notice : /

Well whatever, then I whipped up some lunch
for the both of us from remnants of last night's
pasta and some random sandwich I found 
on the dining table. 

Cheapskate is one thing. But whoever said
romance has to come from costly things?

But I could be wrong. So.

She wasn't much in the mood to eat stuff.
But I kinda forced her to eat 'cause I remember
her always having flatulence and stuff. Trolz


She came at 10ish.
She was done at 3.30ish.

And she has to go by 6pm :/


Then she told me she wanted to drive out
to hunt down the peach cake.

I told her it wasn't necessary.
Then oddly enough, she also did
the same surprised reaction the
manager of the Giant's Seceret Recipe
 branch did. Trolz.

+Hugz of course <3
And lotsa trollin'

Then we caught up with whatever we could
with the limited time we had for each other.
But Valentine's is just one day to us.

Our relationship is something
that stretches beyond eternity
*fingers crossed*

So even if it's a day apart, 2 days,
weeks, months, or years, our love will
still stand strong regardless. Because
we love each other. And I believe that 
it will endure the corrosion of time.

But if there's anything, Valentine's is just another
excuse for us to make an extra special memory
for the both of us ohohohohoh.


And another opportunity for us both to meet :D

To everyone out there whose single and yadada though,
I do hope y'all get your partners one day. But just remember
that your special Valentine will come sooner if your learn
to first love yourself.

Because really.

Who'd wanna date someone who you yourself wouldn't date?


Now I have a teddy to hug to sleep to~ OC

Graduation Exposed!

And so this is the link.

Check out
the updates on 
the Facebook page ^^


Friday, February 10, 2012


This here is a link to mah kitteh.

My Facebook page ain't private so feel free to browse
through even if you're not on my friends list? lolz.

But here are some of her latest pictures.
So cuteh cuteh.

But she might be leaving us soon.
My family members are kinda sensitive to her
and about 3 of us got ringworms the other time.

Funny though. The cat's actually pretty clean.

But anyway, yeah. I wish I could take care
of it myself. I would really want to.

But I guess I just have other priorities in mind.

Maybe I'll fight for her.

But if you have interest in adopting her,
maybe you can leave a comment or
contact somewhere?

I'll let you know if we really want to give
her away for adoption (man, she was even
RM1.8k too. Not inclusive of all her cages,
litter, food and care products lolz.)

Grrr. So frustrating. OC

Shadows VII


The kinda people some adore as equally as
they would abhor them.

The kinda people who jump at every life-changing
opportunity, which causes envy to a certain mass
of people because as the opportunists jump, this
certain group of useless egos don't. So they fluster
and start mocking these opportunists.

Because those useless egos are the kinda people who
look at life as if it's a one way ticket to the last train station.
Nothing but the wait for the next excitement in the next coming
train station, if any.

People say life is about making decisions.

But what people don't get is making those kinda
decisions everyday. Be it just doing your homework
earlier, preparing your food 3 hours in advance,
booking a schedule with your friends or just plains
saying no to everything during your off-day.

And more than often, these decisions doesn't just
pop-up like a Sims flag event.

They are created.

But when exactly is the right time to hop out into
the right station and say "this is where I'll settle
and take things from here"?

It's never easy. The when and where as to align as
nicely as how the stars would once every few centuries.

But nobody said you can just ignore that and just create
those moments for yourself anyways.

So people say life is about making decisions.
Aristotle made a better line out of that by saying,

"what it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do."

So in this context, he just made it easier for people
with procrastination problems. People who can't
control their own behavioural pattern properly.
People who can't organize well, etc. you name it.

Because it's just easier to say "I just chose not to do it"
without having some particular reason to it because
either you just didn't have one from the start or you're
too lazy to even create one and still get by until people
just get really sick and tired of you one fine day.

On the other hand, for people who has a depth of
understanding with their own logics and could control
their actions to a certain extent, this quotes leaves a
deep mark in their heads, asking them the big question,
"to do or not to do?" + "which would be better?"

+ "Why?"

A step people often skip these days.

True enough, certain decisions don't give you the
luxury of asking yourselves the why's due to it's
impossibly limited timespan.

But you can't deny the fact that most of the time,
those situations only happen when you've just fucked
up more than just a dozen times in your life.

The kinda times where you realized if you haven't lied
to a certain other person the other day, or if you just
checked you car before an 8 hour drive up north,
or if you would've just spend more time with your
family, things wouldn't turn out the way it'd be.

They happen mostly because you fucked up at all the
small stuff. A lot of small stuff as a matter of fact.

Which creates a big fuck up by the way.

But y'know, it's kinda human to fuck up. We're all
not build that efficient in God's image. I think.

So don't be too hard on yourself.

And this is where I want to say if you choose to
think that way, then by logical human right, it'd
only be fair of you to treat other people equally
as how you treat yourself.

If you can tell yourself to not be too hard on yourself,
then do the same to others and stop being a living irony.

Because really, nothing kills the good stuff in life better
than a shitty wishy-washy good'ol puhsover of a hypocrite.

Well, until maybe someone decides to remove it from one's life.

But of course, I'm not telling you if you're always bashing yourself,
you should always bash others or whatever else applies in that context.

Because that'd be just plain retarded.

Believe it or not, almost all of us have those kinda nincompoops who
fit that pushover profile all around us as friends, acquaintances, relatives
you name it. And you know that whenever you're around this kinda
people, even when they give you such great advice sometimes, you just
can't seem to take it in because they're just always doing the exact opposite.

It's like they're just screwing around with you all the time sometimes.

Oh the irony.

So, if you wanna be an opportunist, choose to be it and
don't half-ass it. Deal with the fact that some people are
gonna hate you for always outsourcing opportunity. And
maybe take that as a sign that you're actually doing a good
job. Or not.

So if you're not gonna be one. It's perfectly ok. But make
sure you choose it by your own right. Because sooner or later,
you will also have to deal with the fact that some people are
gonna hate you for some God-knows-what reason. And
when that happens, you better know how to wind your way
in and out of conversations, and how to defend yourself
from unreasonable people.

Because we all wanna be our own man.

But do we take pride in who we are? Ready to
repel any from of aggression against you should
they come at you off guard?

Or do we perceive things in selfish egoistic ways?
Defending our ego blindly without paying heed to
the world around you?

There's a difference between knowing who you are
because you choose to be so for justifiable reasons,
and not giving a shit about it just because you couldn't
care less about it and still claiming that you do and
insisting people believe in your crap.

But well, if you can convince people, I don't see why not.
Just don't let a certain hater find out and make your life
a living misery.

If you wanna lie, make sure you remember all the things you make up.
If you wanna crap, make sure your crap sounds believable.
If you wanna live as who you wanna be, then just be who you are,
be genuine and sincerely honest about it and don't fucking fake it.

Or well, someone out there would always be entertained
with someone else getting a little surprise-butt-sex ass whooping. OC

Thursday, February 09, 2012


An assignment to design a living creature.
Can be anything. Kinda got sick of doing
humans after all this time.

Just thought might as well do something other
than humans and learn what I can from the process

Human skin, reptilian scales, mammal fur and fish scales
are all different stuff after all. And doing the robot assignment
helped me with establishing characteristics with metals a lot
stronger. Certainly not perfect yet. But better than before.

And Facebook doesn't seem to have any storage limit.



Here ya go~

frog is cool. but snake-looking wyvern thingy looks cooler.

nothing good here. the profile of the ape-thingy is nice though.
No. It's not because it looks like Namewee.

niddhoggr. that 16-limb evil-looking muthafucka. I like it. It's cool. But a lot of
stuff here are also cool. But I like him the most outta everything I've done here.

blerhz, lost steam after niddhogr. FARK. The scorpion can be developed though.

My initial design idea is to create something that lives in harsh environments,
probably somewhere where food and water is scarce, fucking hot and dusty
almost every time of the day and temperature differences can be extreme.

Hence the predatorish looks and if not, you've certainly got some scales or
rocky textures down somewhere.

Or not. Whateverla. I was stuck with what to create, I didn't have a set
thing I wanted to do. So I just vomited everything out and see what I
can work with.

And I already see a few I can work with.


Niddhogr thingy looks somewhat like the one on
Shin Megami Tensei's one on the left. I was probably inspired by it too. Looks creepy, badass and evil. Who wouldn't wanna create something like that and amplify its characteristics a thousandfold?

But I'm gonna go for that rock-carapace
version instead. Maybe. Just to avoid some
copyright blerhz again. And it'd only make more
sense to have that carapace to live in a place where
it's just dry all the time.

Well, unless of course I could just say that that niddhogr thingy is
a twisted shamble of human bodies from a failed epic homunculus
experiment. And well, it escaped and evolved to adapt to the
subterranean climate it'd be submitted to if it lived below the
caverns of the earth's crust.

If not, then I'm gonna power it up with scales so that it'd make
sense to my environment.

Or I can just screw the environment altogether. Mmm.

Fun day. Spent my book vouchers already. OC

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Shadows VI

These days, you just start to feel the full speed of life
blowing against your face.

Especially when you have the little ones reminding
you every single day just how fast they grow.

So my parents are friends with this lovely couple.
They visited us one day and brought along their 
cutesy son.

Which is already 8 years old and speak queer fluent
English with amazing fluidity by the way, so I commend
whoever that helped him to be that boy he is now.

I was gaming the day he came. And he curiously came
up to me with bright eyes, asking;

"Eh, koko, what game are you playing? I never played it before."

I replied saying,

"This game very sien one. Don't play yet ler. You whack and whack
and chop and chop. No quest. Nothing one. You go study hard first
la. 'Cuz when you start this, it's gonna be hard to stop when you do."

And then he got distracted by my cutesy chubby Felicia of a pet cat
and went along to go play cuddle fuddle with it.

And right after that, I realized that I could've just said,

"You know, this kinda games aren't all that interesting. You
wanna know what's the best game ever that's so difficult that
you can never beat it no matter how hard you try?"

If he prompts for a what is it then I'll tell. If not then maybe I won't.
So let assume for now that he did ask the said line.

And so this is what I'll say.

"This game is called life. Everyday, from the moment you open your eyes to the time you close them, you're playing that game, you just won't notice it. It's probably the most ninja RPG game ever that doesn't even need to be MMO to be epic.

So here's the thing, what I told you before already sounds impossible. But lets say you could, and you can. What will you do to win this game? What will you do after you win this game?

If you can beat this game, you won't just make mommy and papa proud, you won't just have a lot of friends, but you'll also be a very happy and accomplished person."

"Errr, koko, why so complicated one? I don't get it." (Assuming he didn't
understand at first. 8 years old is still very young after all.)

"It's ok. It's not meant for you to understand now. But one day, if you still
remember what I said, and you've started to understand it, then maybe we
can have another nice little chitchat ^^."

But meh, I already missed that opportunity. So what the heck.

So I'm gonna etch this down as hard as I can in my head so
that the next time another small child asks me something about 
the game I'm playing, was playing, or just played, I'm gonna ask
them if they can beat a game called life.

It's rough being a game addict. You feel so down when you're not
doing the stuff you wanna do but isn't all that integral in making you
into a better person.

But if only,

if only,

you can be an addict in a game called life, then 
I doubt you're gonna have any problems with
what roughness life has to throw at your face.
Even when it's on purpose.


Because you're gonna be so damn addicted to trying to beat the
crap outta it that you couldn't care less about what gets thrown
to your face.

As long as you get to just beat the crap outta it. OC

Friday, February 03, 2012


Originally didn't wanna post this yet, but a friend of mine was pestering me for
progress sketches. So since I already posted on Facebook.....why not.

Orthography, whatever you call it.

the ride.

This piece was one of those odd pieces that I really liked and enjoyed doing, but know
there's something that could've been better, but then someone unexpected told me
it looked good. My tutor. But well, he just said the colours look very natural, so 
I should assume that only the colours are ok and everything pretty much could
be executed much better.

I for one can never feel happy with the pose of the bloody left hand.
Urgh. Can't even find the right reference for it. Thank God I had
a mirror at home though. Man. Lets not go to the 2 legs below.

So he asked me where I learned how to do this?
I assume he was asking about the colour scheme or
something. I guess. So I told him that I just followed the
video he shared in class the other time about that Harry 
character. And the key word I captured was
"Customize a brush that will look like a palette knife on Corel painter, so that you can get quick details and define happy accidents to make your design more interesting." 

 My tutor went 0.o really ah?
Like got follow Kekai Kotaki oh.
Er.. no la, just use the tip you showed us
in class only la. 


Well, I guess its kinda true I'm influenced by Kekai Kotaki
somewhat. Just didn't know the image of his work would
turn up in my works and people'd actually recognize it.


But well, if there was anything about the colours, I just stuck
to around less than 10 colours and I just kept rendering
and rendering and rendering until it looks good somewhat.

Hmm.. I guess I should share how to make that brush.
So people can use. And maybe I'll upload my preset or
something so others can use. No point keeping it to
just myself and myself alone.

Some other time I guess.

Oh, and the metal feeling, I guess I kinda
got it from this picture..

But if you put the two pictures
side by side, you'll know how
far behind I am compared to him.

So. Well, I'm making progress I guess.
Shouldn't bloody complaint if it's good progress. OC

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Shadows V

Sometimes, I just wish I was born in a 3rd world
country. I might be living in poverty, suffering each
and every day while loathing my own self-existence.

But hey, at least I'd get to see what humanity really is.
Because there's a saying that goes likes this,

"Humanity really shines when they're in their most desperate moments"

And I for one, concur with whoever made that line.
But the thing is you don't need to be in a 3rd world
country to see true humanity. All you need is Astro
and subscribe to Discovery Channel. Or keep searching
online for outlets where news of this places come from.

Nevertheless, it's really sickening to see us normal people
greed and frustrate over things as trivial as social life and
such, when people over there are having such a hard time
finding food, let alone clothes and money or even a roof
over their head to even care about whatever the fuck
social life can give in return or whatever the hell you
wanna do with excess money.

We get mad over losing a game, not having a computer,
not getting enough attention form our peers or parents,
being depressed by loneliness and so many other privileges
and luxuries to name.

Yeap. Depression is actually a luxury. A luxury for
lazy people to not do things when people are just
feeding them to live.

Loneliness are for gutless people who're just too
lazy to give themselves a chance to just talk to
people and get to know them more.

But over there, it's just a daily struggle to live. To live.
To live. No water? Die. No food? Die. No clothes?


Well, if you don't get why people die because they
have no clothes, they have no protection against the
harsh environment. Especially the sunlight. You get
sunburn, fever from bacterial infection and poof. Die.
And that's just one of the many ways one can die form
not having clothes.

Of course to us, we'd probably just die of embarassment
or something of that sort. Pun intended.

Without change of clothes on the other hand, infections
creeps in with immense velocity as the bacteria continues
to accumulate in the same set of clothes everyday. But
many of those who just wanna live anyways give up their
humility and ignore whatever embarassment they'd face
if they'd be out nude as they wash and dry up the only
set they have because if they don't, the chances of
bacterial infection is higher, hence lowering their
chances of survival.

Here, we lose sight of life over a breakup. We feel
like suicidal over losing a leg.We feel hopeless without
having people to acknowledge our existence. But we
still have people to care for us, friends here and there,
food, shelter, clothes, a peaceful place with no wars.
And yet, we feel like shit. Is this what humanity is
supposed to mean in a modern context?

To them, that lost of sight, hopelessness and suicidal
thoughts are almost in-bred in their genes the minute God
or whatever higher power sent them to such a birthplace.
They have not enough food, not enough water and not
even a roof atop their heads. But they all want to live.
Even when tyrants run rampant along their streets, raining
deadly bullets amongst one another, but these regular
bunch of people just remain adamant in wanting to live.

We on the other hand, always wished some things were
different, and for most part, we all wanna just die instead.
So in other words, 3rd-world people are actually a lot
stronger and resilient than us complacent non-3rd-worlders,
despite having high death rates. Because people there don't
die of the psychology of life, but the literal physical part of it.

But enough with the angst. This actually just goes down to
the basic needs of people. When all the basics are covered
(shelter, clothes, food), privileges always go hand in hand with
it. Hence the current society we have today that consists of you,
me and everyone else.

We all have our own problems and dilemmas. But lets not
forget about the big picture. We already have the basics
covered, so what's really there that poses as a problem
or dilemma to us? Pretty much nothing.

Hence the words:

"all your worldly problems are just in your head"

So people oughtta complain less, be more grateful with what
they have and crave less luxury. I've heard that laziness kills
But lets not forget that luxury kills too. Not because what it
does to your health. But what it does to your mind, and all
the other things that come along by having it or not being able
to have it after a certain period of time.

But I guess its kinda unfair for me to compare two completely
different worlds like this. Especially when we're all living in a
different set of rules and circumstances of our own worlds.

Believe it or not, it's no sin to not care or be ignorant about
what's happening beyond our world. There's a theory called
the monkey links. A monkey link can only care and remember
at most 300 different other monkeys. Everything else is almost
disregarded or negligible.

Would it surprise you to know that humans are also that way?

We all have a limit to how much we can care. I'm not saying that
you shouldn't give a shit about what's happening with the world
because having that awareness helps to build up a more mature
character. But don't feel overburdened by people around you
who're like evangelists in efforts to ease the world of suffering
and is on the next list of saint-to-be's.

If seeing their efforts makes you feel even the slightest of guilt, it
shows that you care. But if they label you a sinner for not caring
more, boo-hoo. Give them an argument of dealing with the basic
problems before meddling in other people's business. Ask them if
their parents are cared for, their children's futures are insured, and
if they don't have elsewhere to be besides whatever their doing at
the moment. I'm sure you'll get a pause from them. Even if it's just
a short one. Because nobody, even Nelson Mandala and Ghandi
themselves I believe, could be free of the regular worries of life.

But those two special people did great things, despite being human.
So that's something to look up to.

And we have to know that its not our fault the 3rd-world countries
are 3rd world countries. 3rd-world countries are 3rd-world countries
because of their corrupt governments, they're rich with resources that
many hunger for, their geographical elements. etc.

Not because you exist. You existing has almost near to nothing to
do with whatever is happening over there. Unless if you're talking
about the amount of space the world is havin... no, your miniscule
life still doesn't tantamount to that much of a significance. Lest you
be purchasing a million-acre land and not let anyone enter it...


But returning to the evengelists, never tell'em people that their
efforts are pointless. Because what they do is a great thing and
it makes a tremendous difference. And if you could be part of
them, be glad that you could be part of a greater cause other
than yourself. If you're not, its ok. You don't have to be part
of a greater cause than yourself to be a good and responsible
person. Be proud of what you do, and be the best in doing
the things you do.

So. You know you're doing what you can. In your world's rules
and circumstances. And it's always a good idea to deal with your
own problems before dealing with the problems of others. So don't
fret. We're humans. And being human is about having limited powers,
limited resources, with infinite things to be done. So if you're ignorant
about world, it's ok. If you donno or couldn't care less that people are
dying everyday because you have more pressing matters to tend to, it's ok.

But if there's just someone at the side of the road, needing emergency
attention and you're just there and nobody is there to pick the poor
fellow up, something like the China case of the little girl, and you
refuse to give help, then...

Well, maybe you're not human or something. God bless you.

I strongly believe that for as long as you take good care of
yourself and the people around you and don't be a major
freakshow that causes unnecessary agony to others like a
suicide-bomber, its ok.

I guess this whole gig revolves around responsibilities.
As a human. As a person. As whoever you are right now.

So, here I say that it's ok, to be more concerned about
your own well-being over others'. Because if you wanna
learn how to solve big problems, it has to start with solving
the biggest problem you have that noone can help you with.
And that is your own personal problems.

Once you do that, you'll find that life isn't all that frustrating.
And it's actually pretty blessed. So its ok to choose not to care.
Just don't be ignorant for too long, or forever. Every soul has
an expiry date. So make sure you make the most out of it. OC