Sunday, April 29, 2012

Messing Up

The funny thing about being honest is that, you may
very well never be able to know what you can and
can't say, until you've messed up.

And with that lesson, it usually comes with a heavy price
that you're never ever gonna be willing to pay.

Circumstances or underlying lies or falsities that coat
people's lives shouldn't be a cause for concern to us.
They should concern them.

So why must we be obligated to preserve or help protect
something that's not even ours just because people have
things to hide and they can't tell the world about them?

Because we are human.

We know how fucked up it feels to mess up big time and
create a disastrous cluster-fuck. Normal people who have
a regular sense of kindness won't want that piece of shit
feeling to befall any other unfortunate people.

Because that piece of shit feeling literally sucks fucks. And like
how parents knows best about their children, humans knows best
about that piece of shit feeling, since we were made to endure
suffering anyways. And we hate suffering.

I hereby apologize in advance for the obsessive abuse of vulgarity.
But that's just how much emphasis I want to put into this rather
spastic issue.

Moving on from before, many people's lives are already messed
up enough as it is to actually make them want to go that extra mile
to just make some fucking thing up or remain fucking silent about
it so that they can get through another day more laxly.

So why should we add more poison to their despair?
Do we have that right?

We don't have the right to burn down those barriers people
created to shield what they need to protect, just like how we
don't have that goddamn right to take other's lives like they are
ants we can step on anytime.

You are not Light and Deathnote will never be a reality.
So wake up already. That book DOES NOT EXIST.

And I'm not saying that we can and should step on ants
though. That's just plains fucked up. But I digress.

The bottomline is, it's their shell, so only they can tear
it down themselves if they want to. Who the fuck gave
us the right to be the public community bulldozer anyways?

Well, unless if it's a nuclear warhead or something being
brewed up under a madmen's closet then... maybe.

But how do we even know if that's true anyways?

There's no way else to know but to just pry and
snoop really. It's terrible no doubt, but a fact
nonetheless. Which brings me to this one fucked-
up line from a drama called Community:

 "when I see a suspicious Arabian in the airport, I always scream out TERRORIST!! If I'm wrong, I'm just an asshole of a racist, but if I'm right, I'm a national hero.

Stupid and really racist. But it's a fact. We often
have to always test the waters before we can really
know whether it's truly safe to jump in don't we?


So... what's the point of this whole ramble?

The point is this.

For your own fucking sake, live a life where you have nothing
to hide so that people can't go blackmailing you or pushing
you over because you have a dark secret to lock away.

If you have one or more, then you're just begging for them
to happen. You know very well there's nothing in life that
can hold you back to whatever you want to achieve or be
in life when you choose to live a good and honest life unless
by some sudden spur of destiny, you suddenly choose to fuck
yourself up real bad.

And for other's sake, make your mistakes as fucking early
as you possibly can. The younger you are now, the better.
Tell the truth more while you still can. But when you've
already known what spells poison, please don't fucking
repeat them for no good reason. Just because you know
it's poison doesn't make you a venomancer. Your words
don't conjure toxic. It's just your imagination. Just know
that what goes around always comes around. And mighty
Thor will smite you with Mjolnir if you're caught being bad.

People can forgive dipshits who've messed up because
they don't know what those mistakes are yet, whether
they were actually right or wrong, being in the mental
state of ignorance, naivety, and ultimately innocence.

Mess up, and you'll experience first hand how fucked up it
feels to actually mess up. After that, hopefully you'll mature
from it, and by the love of God, grow into a better person,

It's definitely not ok however, to fucking make more
messes of the things you already know you shouldn't
mess up after fucking messing them up the first time.

But of course, if you're looking for someone to literally
knock you off your feet with ironclad hammer-like fists
of fury, then you're definitely on the right track.

Thank you for reading this annoying post and I hereby 
rest my one-sided profanity-ridden ranty case.


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Facebook Pages/Liked Pages Part II

Ok, FB did some remodelling with their whole website layout.
There has been no more signs of any "recommended pages" tab
anywhere on the bottom right corner from the past 20-50 refreshes.

So I hereby declare this old post obsolete.

I found a solution (s) though.

Well, for one thing, if you took timeline, the like tab will always
be at your header, which is pretty nifty. I was tempted in desperation,
but alas, it still tempted me not. Besides, I couldn't find the stupid button
to change to timeline, so.. I guess laziness stopped me or something lol.

Okok, moment of truth. If you're still using the old FB thingy, then you
should be able to find it here:

or you can always just copy paste into your browser while
you're logged on. Yeap. That simple. OHFUCK WHAT HAPP-


Monday, April 23, 2012

I'm Sorry...

Felifelifel~ Fel fel ferrrrlicia. FER LI SHIAH

that I didn't bathe you more regularly
that I didn't always feed you on time
that I didn't spend more time playing with you
that I ignored your cutesy purrs from time to time
that I couldn't let you go without a leash everytime I let you out
that I didn't sing enough lullabies for you to fall asleep
but at least I cleaned up your freshly baked cakes daily :)

and now it's time for you to go
to a better home i'd reckon
with noone having to live in fear of fur allergy
with many people to keep you company
a home where you can run around freely
and scratch every kinda cloth you come upon

so farewell my fluffy Felicia
it's been nice having you around
you'll always be my cuteh kitteh
I hope you bring as much happiness
to the new guardians of your life
like when I first named you


On another note, I didn't know carrying weights in 4 sets of 12 repetitions
can be so fucking tiring. Maybe it's because I just started. But, still!

Zzz, that bench I bought last year turned out to be not as effective of a
workout tool as I thought. And now I'm down to the hard floor
going back to primal basics of abs building. Sien.

Man. Working out is tough. Good thing my lil'bro is there to
coach me... and I'm supposed to be his older brother. Pfft.

I'm fat. So goddamn fat. With a tummy. That shall disappear. Soon.


***I find jogging extremely easier than building muscles mass. ugh. I'd rather
jog to Batu Caves from my home anytime compared to doing high intensity
weight training at home. No, seriously.


Saturday, April 21, 2012

They Don't

Responsibilities don't hinder you from achieving greatness,
they're just helping you get it one tiny step at a time.


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Your Best

"Never tell yourself or anyone that you'll just try your best.
Try to tell them you'll get things done, and things'll be done nicely.
Otherwise, your best is just gonna be another excuse for
you to be lazy. "

Not my words. Wished it was. And as much as I hate that fact,
I must admit that it's pretty true. Spread this around, these words
from Loo, so that people like you, can benefit from the view.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Blank Canvas

“With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas,
thought by thought, choice by choice.
”  - Oprah Winfrey

The canvas is blank once more.
And I'm gonna fill it with colours  once again.


Monday, April 16, 2012


One can fall for one,
while still falling for others.

One can admire one,
while still admire others.

One can respect one,
while still respecting others.

But to be faithful is only for one,
Though our heart may be of two chambers,
It's room is only truly enough for one.

There's no wrong in
Falling for your meets,
Admiring their visage,
Respecting what they do

But remember to go back,
to the one your heart has room for.

One can only go so far.
Because when you don't,
Those chambers will fall,
And so will you my friend.


Saturday, April 14, 2012

Thrift. Deprive. Budget.

Thrifting. Almost everyone who wishes to have
more spending capacity does this. Done for
numerous reasons, from the ones of sound
reason to those of complete ridicule, you've
got them. But still reasons nonetheless.

Anyhow, lets talk about a greater version of thrift.
We always hear people thrifting on expenditure
from food, travelling and whatnot. But what
exactly are we usually thrifting for?

Needs. Necessities usually. We sacrifice on the
many things we want (luxury) so that we can have
more of what really keeps us going, alive, surviving
through to the next day.

You continue doing that, then maybe one day, you'll
feel deprived. Not of needs, but of wants. You'll feel
so sick and tired of thrifting that you'd just suddenly feel
so exhausted about everything and instantly wilt. Because
it's just been that darned long since you've even given
yourself a simple reward. Not even a standard McD sundae.

I mean it's just RM1 + tax. Just how anymore sad can it get?
Ok, maybe if you can't pay even 20sen for some candy then...
well, congratz. You're officially broke for the time being.

Anyways, I laud anyone who gets a kick outta thrifting
though and I really do hope they save many millions from
their outrageously useful habit as the thought of them saving
money just puts a smile across their face. I respect that. I
want to be like that too if I could. But ambition and reality
doesn't always match with one another does it?

So I can understand people who have sudden needs to
just spend spend spend like there's no tomorrow. It's
something quite similar to dehydration. When someone
is dehydrated, once they see water, they just hound at
water like its newfound treasure don't they? Like people
who've just gone through 2 hours of back to back
football training. And finally they get a recess. What's
the first thing they'd do? Drink water.

So how do we balance this out really? Thrifting is
actually pretty terrible if you'd ask me. I avoid it
as much as I could during my lifetime.

I asked this one question before to someone,
"if you had a choice of always going out
shopping or joining events/meeting people
frequently, or being able to eat Jogoya at 
every weekend, which one would you choose? 
What'd be the most rewarding for you?"

You answer that, and maybe you'd get your
basic budget of necessities. In necessities, I'm
not just talking about your basics now, but also
the stuff you think you need that keeps you sane
as a person.

Yes, the reward factor. Probably one of the only
things that keeps a person glowing besides sex love
and support.

The kinda stuff like eating good food, having the
pinch of dark chocolate, your cake crush, or that
pair of jeans that make you look and feel great. Or
maybe just plain going out with the people who make
you happy and reenergized.

You do that, but always stick to a budget. You can
always do the above over and over again, for as long
as you have the means to. Once you don't, then the
cycle of deprivation repeats itself. And then it's thrift
thrift thrift non-stop till god knows when.

And you'd start splurging again once you get your catch.
Because you haven't knocked of the habit yet, but you've
already start spending thoughtlessly.

Why suffer when you can just enjoy if you only
manage your finances better?

It's difficult to break the cycle in the beginning, I know.
But just keep at it, and you'll slowly gain more control
of your habits. People said habits can't change overnight
for a very good reason y'know.

So lets say you do wanna get retain control of your
spending habits, what should you do? What can you do?

Stop everything for a short moment. Just list everything you
want and need in your head, paper or whatever. Just make
sure you list and you're actually able to get back at it when
you need to remind yourself on the things that are more
important to you.

Keep reducing and filtering it till you can hit a manageable
amount with the amount of buying power you have.

Oh, and say no to every opportunity you can afford to turn
down that requires you to spend money. It's your money,
your expenses. Let yourself choose what to spend money
on. Don't let face or peer pressure trick you into spending
that extra dime. You know what you need the most. So do it.
No compromise. Just do it.

Creating a good budget isn't all that difficult actually. It's usually
about the amount of finite buying power you have vs the finite 
time you'd need to rely on that same buying power until you can
revise a new budget. Meaning it's actually measurable. Your desires
may not be, but your budget sure as hell could be. And every new
budget generally starts with a new paycheck or allowance.

Well, unless if you're in a communist country...

Anyways, it's always best to not always hit zero or just nice. It's
always better to have extra, in the case of that same finite time suddenly
extending beyond your wildest imagination, or whatever else stuff that
could force you to spend on emergency expenditures.

I know. People say that all the time, and it might've not happened
to you yet. But when it actually does hit you, just what are you
gonna do? Derp around and complain that you don't have enough
to pay? Obviously not. But if you did that, then you deserve a good
slap clap for still finding ways to poke fun at life even when you know
you're actually sinking into deeper and deeper levels of shit.

When that happens, well, I pray that you love the taste of shit.

So. For as long as you follow the extra rule, I think you should
be able to enjoy life decently. Maybe not in the grandest of life's
pleasures, but just enough to keep you sane and reminded about
all the good life has to offer.

Not that I manage my finances perfectly anyways.
It's rather unfortunate I know, but I'm still learning
you see. So.. I guess I'm just sharing out my
cumulative experience on the said subject matter.

So yeah. Maybe you should go do a budget now or whatever.
Or you can click the ads below. Lol P:


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Familiarity vs Differences

I shall open the passage with a passing of trollz.
ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ 

Now. Have you ever wondered why you've never
actually gotten along with your other siblings? Even
when you actually dig the same things?

How about not being able to be closer to someone
despite knowing for a fact that the two of you have
a lot of things on common?

Or better yet, why can't you just penetrate the walls
of someone who's just completely different from you?

Well, first thing's up, you have to always bear in mind
that just because people have similar interests or similarities
with you doesn't make you any more special to them than
how you already are to them.

Some people like durians. Some people just don't.
Just because you both whack the same breed of
durians at the same durian buffet sharing the same
buffet table doesn't mean you'll actually strike a
conversation with one another for sure.

Your bonds with people don't come from similar
interest. You may have dated the same person,
or drank the same things, or eat out with the same
people, have the same hobbies, watched the same
movies, experienced similar scenarios in several points
in life or could maybe share the same classroom for 5
years, or better yet, looks the same, but that doesn't
mean you're gonna get along just fine.

Getting along takes more than just a common ground.

It goes beyond the level of similar interest and similarities.
There are many ways to get along, but one of those sure
ways, is when both parties never cease to surprise and inspire
one another in unique ways.

Some inspiration is one-sided, but for those that are
reciprocated, you'll witness a certain strength in its
mutual positive magnetism  It's just that good and it
does nothing but make even empty bonds stronger.

It really is just that good.

Next up, there's a reason why people say opposites
attract. But we all know for a fact that the statement is
not all that entirely true.

Just because two people are of total complete polar
opposites of one another doesn't guarantee you a natural
bond like Edward, Jacob and Bella or EJ and Renesme.

So just because someone eats durians and someone else
doesn't won't give you a special ticket to strike an interesting
conversation now will it? Just because you drink and that
person smokes is just the same scenario all over again.

But we do know for a fact that when there is that familiar
ground for you to tread in together, the less likely you are to be
surprised or inspired by one another. But it's just as mundanely
similar as having no common grounds at all you see.

So really, don't bother yourself with looking for people with
similar interests or something "different". Relationships with
people aren't based on similar interests or differences you have,
but it's that special magnetic force you always share whenever
you're together, so much so that even when you run out of things
to say, being with one another still feels comforting enough, and
silence would actually feel like an actual conversation without the
need for words to dance in the chat bubble. Just nothing but the
presence of the both of you.

And when that happens, well, maybe it's called friendship for some
people. But I'd like to think that it's more than that. Because friendship
is just severely overrated these days. Just because we're friends doesn't
mean I have to do all the things you do or agree with every single
thing you think now do I? HA.

Now this privilege, is something I can confidently say  for sure we all have
in common, alongside us being omnivores, mammals, and have the intellect
to help kill the earth of help save it.

But just because we all have this privilege, or even if we don't, that doesn't
guarantee us great bonds or skinship friendship. It just means we have
similarities/differences and nothing else to that.

Yes. It's actually really not all that complicated you see.


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Let Down

If you let yourself down, you let people down.
If you let people down, you let yourself down.

Don't let anyone down, and you won't let
anything down.


Friday, April 06, 2012

ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ

Totally trolling with that Thai character now. ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ

Anyhow, just had an interview that I didn't
realize was an interview until the conversation
ended. Uh.. I knew because at the end, he asked
me how much am I looking for (salary)


It's a good job, albeit might be a complete detour
from what I'm currently studying. I mean, I still
like designing, and I was told I could start from
scratch with a 3 month trial period.

Will be learning back from design basics and
once that gets better, then maybe I'll learn some
extra html coding. Whatever comes after that,
I'm gonna have to keep myself updated haha.

Life is such a wonder sometimes.

Oh, and if you're gonna try starting out a booklet,
plan out the whole process first. It's gonna save you
a lot of time.

What I meant by planning would be

  1. give yourself a month headstart.
  2. to create a dummy page (fold any paper
    into half until you've met your desired
    amount of pages. To make things easier
    for you, always take total and divide by 4.
    Because one page spread can hold 4 pages,
    so if you have 60 pages, it 15 papers, etc.)
  3. know what you're designing for, what purpose,
    who's your reach and your budget per book/
    entire print cost. If you donno the important
    stuff, you'd have to keep going back to all
    your pages, and it eats up a lot of your time.
  4. Create your grid templates first. Makes sure
    they are not so complex to confuse you when
    you use them.
  5. Set all your files under one master, if possible.
    Your alignments will be more accurate, and
    the need to resave will be a lot less. Saving takes
    up at least 1 minutes for files above 40mb in AI/
    inDesign. So if you've got 60 pages, well you know
    the math. My com wasn't good enough to handle
    4.5gb file alone. So it had to be separated.
  6. Know your printer. Not everyone can print your
    4.5gb file. If you knew it took a lot of your time
    to finish your work/make minor* changes, it's the
    same case for them when they open each file. You'd
    normally have to change them to smaller sizes. If the
    printer say can print large files, good, if cannot, then,
    resize. That's why, know your printer. 
  7. If you've confirmed with your main directors/preferences
    with the design and layout, don't let people change your
    mind after that. Your directors first. People later. This
    only serves to extend the deadline, and takes up a lot of
    your time. You can't please everyone, but at least please
    your directors.
Yeah, that's all the stupid stuff.
Also got a BUFALLO HDD today lolz.
Good stuff. Transferred 91gb in 1 hour.


Tuesday, April 03, 2012

They Aren't Everything

Happiness and fun isn't all there is to life.

All the stress and frustration you have with
things are there for a reason.

Work it out. Find joy in your stress.
And maybe someday, you'd be proud
of how high you can leap.

And btw, try copy pasting this onto
any FB chat.  ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็

Oh, the glory. And its of Thai origins. Same awesomeness with Muay Thai.

+funny fact, it doesn't seem to appear on older systems, lessaaay... WIN XP.


Sunday, April 01, 2012


31st March 2012

I woke up after a real life experience with an alternate world.
I'm not sure how to put it into words, but I guess I'll just describe
it the best I can from memory.

I remember talking to this girl. She was beautiful, tall with long
silky-brown hair and a smile that'd make any man go weak with
such a loving air around her. She was tanned, with a very slender
frame, dressed with a beautiful night gown for the night.

We went out, had some pretty interesting conversations. I
remember drifting apart a few times, but she was great with
her words. She always knew how to engage me back into
the chat bubble, and I remember feeling happy for a while.
Like time just paused and told me to get a breather.

Then we got home. My home. We lounged around the living
room for a while. And I remember feeling so tired that I just
went straight to my room and crashed on the bed. I was so
exhausted and tired. I didn't know why.


I felt something heavy falling onto the side of the bed. I turned
around in slight irritance only to find her gazing thoughtfully into
me, as though asking me "what seems to be the problem?"
without having the need to even utter a word. I looked back
into her eyes and for once, it felt like there was a conversation,
without the need for an exchange of words.

For a moment there, things felt intimate. She got closer and  I
remember being too tired and ignorant to resist. I felt her warm
arms wrapping around me. It felt like she was looking for a place
to belong. I could sense her loneliness as she hugged tighter and
dipped her head into my chest.

I was too tired to reciprocate. But it was comfortable nonetheless.
And I slowly faded into sleep. Then I felt her hair brushing against
my cheek. I didn't bother to open my eyes to look.

Then I felt her breath on my face, and it inched closer and closer
to my mouth with each draw of her breath. When it finally touched,
she went slow, grazing the wall of her lips against mine, as if looking to
see if it'll ever open. My lips gave way after a while, and she invited
herself in gently.

It felt like a kiss she'd give to someone she completely trusts. I
accepted it for a while longer, and it began to feel familiar. Then
I regained a momentary burst of consciousness with my eyes wide
open as my hands instinctively pushed her away.

On the floor, there she was, with her head held down. She seemed
to be laden with crushing disappointment. She apologized for being
too forceful. I got up and told her that it wasn't her fault and helped
her up.

I recall saying, "I'm sorry. I'm just not ready for something like
this right now. I just can't. I..."

Before I could finish, she lightly shaked her head with what seemed
like a smile, bowed and walked away.

I could hear her footsteps fading at the hallway. And when I heard
the door close, I felt a deep sense of loss within me.

I remember asking myself as I laid back to my bed thinking,
"Why would I turn down a chance with someone as great as her? 
She was everything I've ever wanted in a life-long companion. 

Am I... stupid?"

A memory flashed through my mind. It rekindled strong feelings
and emotions inside of me of a certain person. And that's when I
realized that my only companion slot was filled. However great the
other girl was, it was still incomparable to the one that somehow
winded its way into that one rare slot I have in my heart.

I felt my face giving off a wry smile as I recalled many other
memories until I fell asleep... And that's when I woke up and
got back to ground zero; my real room with a giant orange
fluffy teddy bear resting by the side of my bed.

I'm not sure what to make of this dream. But if there's anything
that could make you turn down someone you've always dreamt
of having as that lifelong partner, it must be someone that makes
you feel so special and real that nobody can ever replace that
slot you have for that person, even when that person's long gone.

Because sometimes, chemistry just isn't everything. Not all
relationships are based on compatibility, stars or alignments.
Its just about who you are to one another.