Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Temporary Retardation

How does one fail at a simple task?

A simple task such as searching up images
for a particular topic under a certain time frame?

I donno. But I failed.
  Not once. Not twice.
    8 times.
      8 fucking times.

There and then, I began to wonder if I was actually
really struck by an invisible Mjolnir by Thor and really
became momentarily half-retarded. Maybe still is.

The feeling of self-disappointment multiplied with guilt
was overwhelming. I was given so many chances, and
I was still giving crap. That's just plain unforgivable.

To myself. To the boss.

And just imagine if you were in the boss' shoes. You
also already pointed out the right ways of doing it, several
times with very specific instructions and somehow, that employee
of yours still fucks up real bad. Heck, he even left a job brief there.
How does one fuck up with a job brief with specific instructions?

Ok, that sounds gruesome already. Now, lets add in the fact
that the boss is also family. I donno, if anything, if I were him, 
my God I'll be raining stones to the entire Peninsular by now.

Although my employer might think otherwise. But I
think 8 chances at something so simple should've
been more than enough dontcha think?

And therefore, numb with failure, I ended my employment
at the office last Monday. I was thankful for the experience
nonetheless. But. Just. Fucking. Disappointed. With. Myself.

I shall make another post about the image searching some
other time. I'm gonna need some time to digest how
terrible I am as both a worker and a person and figure
out a way to knock the concussion left by invisible
Mjolnir out of my puny head.

This is somewhat a self-bash post.
But came out kinda factual.
Maybe that's how it's supposed to be.



n_n said...

Hope you're ok. And everyone screws up sometimes.

Joey said...