Monday, July 23, 2012

Spend more time?

Mmm... old stuff. Just thought I'd test out what happens when
I actually paint it over this time.


Anyway, I was afraid of painting faces of people i know so..
I painted myself. Guess it doesn't look too bad...

Meh, I screwed the colours. Good grief.

Sunday, July 22, 2012


Anne Hathaway practice, using this reference




And I guess this painterly technique wasn't too hard to achieve after all
without having to rely on Corel Painter. I guess what made it easy was
how I just continued to paint it as a large whole, and not from the details.

I wonder if it works for sketches too o.O
It's not like you can literally zoom out on a paper
and paint it with some kinda laser brush so...
Well, I'll find that out soon enough :)

Friday, July 20, 2012


Hahahaha. You? Pick a fight? With ME? Oh...I hope you
love pain... In a VEERRRY large dose. You could've picked
anyone else but me and yet... hahahaha. Guess what?

As your reward, I'm gonna have you feel ALL the pain
I feel tenfold! You'd best say your prayers asshole. And
pray hard that today won't be your last...

...because most people won't survive long enough to satiate
my desire to inflict pain. But I'll be glad to find out... just 
how much your body can take...


I'm out of ideas on what to do next for this piece. So... 
I'm gonna work on something else now. Been busy 
finishing up a namecard for a friend so couldn't get in 
touch with my artses for a while.

I also blame the drama marathon from the other time.
I hate you Spy Meong-Wol. No it's your fault Maaduu!
But that doesn't matter now. What matters is that I need to 
make up for all the time I've lost! :)

And if you were wondering if you've seen different versions
of Searizeel before. Well... you're not wrong at that.

But I think I kinda misplace the old one so... P:

Monday, July 16, 2012

To Ignore

...This sorry issue called "awkwardness". Not directly implying on my artwork or anything.
But in everything I guess. Mostly in people, since that's the kinda thing where silence 
between a large group of close-knit people is like almost blasphemy. Yeah.

It is said by some that "the silence shared between people can sometimes be beautiful,"
probably a more positive anecdote to the it's "silence is golden" counterpart, with strongly
suggests a form of nuisance.

Anyhow, I believe that awkwardness is really just your mind telling you something's off 
somewhere, sometime, someplace. But if you happen to choose to ignore the illusion that 
awkwardness exist, then just maybe, maybe, things won't be as awkward.

Of course, if you call a painting awkward, that's a completely different thing as an awkward
painting would definitely show a certain degree of wrongness with how everything comes 
together in the composition, and just by looking at it, you feel rather uneasy.

So aside from that, conversational awkwardness is pretty much non-existant to me. I mean...
what's wrong with a little bit of silence now and then anyways? Does everyone have some
sorta verbal obligation to speak whenever you're around a group of friends? Nonsense.

It's like saying if someone were to visit the washroom, that person's definitely gonna poop.

Yeah. And I'm tired of putting in OC and changing them to orange and blue at the bottom of
every single post. I initially did it to give myself some sorta identity. 

But I guess these days I find such efforts to specifically identify myself in such a way is
pretty much futile and is a waste of time. Even if it really just takes a few seconds. 
And I don't even really enjoy doing it. So I'm giving it a rest for now.

Sunday, July 15, 2012


I recall someone saying something about dealing with art blockages. OR something like that. Maybe it was about a good start or something. Should be this link I think.

If you're looking to expand your skill repertoire, just see how he paints, and you should be able to pick up the things he does real quick.

Anyhow, regardless if he said anything about blockages or not, if you ever find yourself in a position where you're just stuck, if it's not a project of particular commitment, might as well just keep sketching along new ideas until one really strike you fancy, fancy enough for you to actually want to see it through completion through thick and thin.

So yes... I'll be doing just that.

And I've been wondering a lot about skillsets. Why even bother expanding your skillsets when you're not even great at anyone of them yet? At the moment, I feel like I can't do anything without this particular brush I'm always using. So I'm gonna rely on this method for now. Maybe after I've achieved a certain degree of mastery with this form, I can move to another tool or skill with a bit more confidence, knowing that I can do great works with that thing alone, and should anything of wrong with whatever experimental ideas I'm gonna work on, I can always fall back to my base.

Not sure if you get what I mean. Anyhow, I guess this is it for today. Will you see a complete work soon? Mmm... we'll see. We'll see...

You better do.

Alright alright I get it. Sheesh.

Oh by the way, ever heard of something called steganography?
No? Ok, you can save yourself the hassle of googling it up. Just
click here.

I've always been weary of opening anonymous e-mails. But I guess
my suspicion was confirmed when I watched this episode from a
drama about cyber crime. You can read about this case scenario
here. You can skip everything by ctrl+f and searching for D7. Reading
from there onwards should suffice. Sure, of course it's fiction. Don't
believe it if you don't want to. Still, it's just better to be educated 
about the matter than to continue on blindly.

Anyhow, what'd you do if you were just browsing through your e-mails
about Groupon and whatnot, then one day, you find your cursor beginning
to move by itself and strange things begin to happen to your computer?

Well, the good news is, at least you'd know it's not a ghost fooling around
with your computer. The bad news is that it's actually a virus attack someone
is using to hack into your computer and making your life miserable.

Don't worry, opening up e-mails are perfectly fine. Just don't simply open
any attachments included within the e-mails. Well, now you might actually
understand why so many e-mails are actually using that virus and spyware
checking before you could open it. It's really there just for your safety.

So once you click the attachment, there's a possibility of something self-
extracting itself, and there you go, you'd better go get yourself a new com.

Anyways, if someone does actually hack into your device, the wisest action
would not be to activate your Firewall or anything. How do hackers get into
your account or computer anyways? What gets you connected?

Yes. You guessed correctly. It's your internet. Pull the plug of your wifi or
you most immediate connection device out. Then deal with the virus accordingly. 
Dealing with a virus while remaining online is just asking for a hound to bite up 
your ass real hard. But if you're up for the challenge... sure, why not. Have fun :)

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Feeling the Flow

Picking up the rhythm.

Quite litelally wif Stepmania. Because I just bought a new Dance Mate Mat.
And it has USB. <3
I've realized that in the Magic Tourney's I've been actively going to quite recently, when I was put up with the fact the Card Fight Vanguard might be a cool game, I've always been denying myself from learning it properly, with the excuse that I can only invest into one hobby, and that hobby being said, would of course be Magic The Gathering.

And these days, I have to say that I'm really starting to chew on the reality of my own words. I'm into dancing, into jogging, into exercising, into spending time with my loved ones, into dramas, into driving, into over-sleeping, into playing RO, into playing PS2, into house chores, into trying new MMO's, into going out with people, and so many other trivial things that I barely have any time to draw at all.

Meaning to say I'd very much rather be saying, I'm into drawing that girl, into painting a portrait, into painting a cool robot, into making a good sculpture, into doing abstractness, into life sketching that I barely have any time for comic drawing.

Although I've a limited amount of savings, money just doesn't seem to concern me as much anymore. Time is the key element here. And time is the only real tangible thing I need to save since money is pretty much like recurring rain. When it rains, you'll get water. When it rains again, I'll just get more. So lets remove something redeemable to something you can never replace even if you decide to sell your soul for it, eh?

I told myself art was the most important thing for me. Look at what I'm doing now? Giving free time to someone who's not in reality check is almost like giving a baby freedom when it can't even start crawling yet. I need to exercise control on myself. And I really just can't stress this enough.

Although most of the time I regret watching entertaining dramas every single fucking day once in a while, a drama I didn't even find interesting at the first, second and third glance suddenly became very appealing because of this one line; "Sometimes, people want something because they've not yet obtained it. Not because they love it or desire it. Then once they do obtain it, they lose interest in it, because they already know the feeling of having it, and is looking for something new. The only way to know if you really love or desire something, is to leave it for a long time, and if you crave for it, then your feelings for it is true."

This line is cool and all. But no. I'd still rather be practicing than to know about something this trivial. But what's done is done. So.. might as well make the best out of this and share.

Being into so many things in one time is never a good thing. Not saying you can't, but all at one go? I mean, I think almost everyone will feel nervous when you're asked to finish an entire table of different food, on your own. Opera has said that you can have everything, just not all at once.

And my lecturer suddenly falls into the picture, with his words telling me that he wished not get involved into any other interests, besides his job, and his family. Art was the only hobby he could afford to do, because he knew if he did something else, he would not get better at his job, and he'd have less time with his family. There were many ways to discover art. And to him, he's seen enough. Seeing can always come at a later time for him now. The most important part for him now and whenever, is the eternal prospect of improving his art skills. Because he strongly believes that only with that, he can at least help the artistic community grow, and with a bit of luck, get a better source of income for his family.

Doing that requires a lot of sacrifice. And it requires a lot of strength and control. Whatever it is, looking for luck when your family's depending on you is probably gonna be a tenfold harder than when you've got nothing to lose.

I'm not sure if I'm able to pull it off. I don't want to take things slow anymore. But rushing myself won't help neither. I've gotta let them go. But can't I just lock them up for a better time, while I keep them all inside? But that's besides the fucking point. I have nothing to lose.

Discipline is discipline. Passion is passion. They may intersect, but can never be the same. Wishing for a day to be longer than 24 hours is fool's quest. So lets not go there.

So now, lets just say I'm really sober, and reasonable now. What'd be the best course of action? What are the things that I should keep, and the things that I should throw? Should I really stop life now and enjoy later, or continue at it and take things as I go? Going in between indecisively is worse than being decisive in either route. So I'm gonna have to pick a choice sooner or later. Hopefully real soon. Because the longer I'm undecided, the harder it takes to create that iron will to stomp down procrastination and everything else associated with it.

I always feel like hammering myself down as hard as I can. As much as everyone loathe me being depressed, that's usually the most powerful source of strength I have. I always feel indomitable doing things in that state. And when I begin to feel satisfied with myself, the feeling fades away, and I can no longer sense the indomitable force.

Either way, telling the whole world I'm doing something, than coming up with another post saying that I can't or didn't do it for whatsoever lame excuse it could be is pretty stupid. But I've gotta make it clear for myself now that's it's always better to just try and fail than to just keep on being goalless with no distinct direction, and expect things to just happen. Flow is not motivation. But motivation incites flow to happen. Waiting for the right time is cool, but we always need to act accordingly right? Anyhow, flow isn't necessary now. I'm done waiting too. So it's pretty obvious what I should be doing.

So. The ground is set. I'll no longer be weary of posting something just because I think might not do it after saying it, and coming up with an excuse for not doing it. So here goes fucking nothing.

1. I shall drop Magic for a time as long as I can. It serves no purpose as to my current skillset, but bartering and haggling. Bartering helps me shave off expenditure. But it does not earn me money. So I should just throw this hobby away. Should. But since I don't have the heart to do that, I guess locking it up is the way to go.
2. Exercising is necessary, no matter what I say, what you say, or what they say. I want to body build too, but do I have time? Either way, I have to exercise, so for as long as I'm exercising, I'm just gonna screw around for as long as it burns carbs. But if I ever make a solid workout plan, I'd best follow it.
3. Games games games. God fuck me. They've been almost everything to me, taught me almost all the most important things in life, but at the same time, they're also screwing me up real bad. But it's really not their fault. If only i'd just stop putting them first right? So from now on, if you don't do the important things first, you're screwed. You don't need to be reminded. Karma always has a way to get back at you. You'd better remember that. Like, never leave stray staple bullets anywhere. Seriously.
4. Fuck this. Having myself to 365 drawings a year was way better than waiting for the starstruck moment of miracles to happen and magically give me enough faith to move my hand to start painting. So I'm gonna say I owe my blog at least 335 more paintings/drawing. You have... less than 5 months.... Good luck.

Hi Osla. It's Blue here. So in case you were wondering about the idea of not being able to rely on yourself for anything, especially discipline, because you wanted to say that to your little brother who can't seem to focus on studying because he just can't do it alone, and help him by offering some of your time to constantly pester him on what to do, well, whaddaya know, I'm always here for you. I know you hate me rather intensely. But lets just bear with me for a while, grit my presence and make you a better man. Deal?

Do I really have to? But you're still me. Does it even make a bloody difference?

It's anytime better than just you alone bro.

Kphyne. *handshake*
This better be well worth it. *pif* Help me... will ya? I'm.. a mess.

Easier said than done. But you'll never know until you try eh, Red? We won't create Captain Planet when we combine, or be the best DNA Digivolution like Omnimon, but it's definitely beats being a bunch of Teletubbies running and going "uh-oh" eh?

Err.. ok, I think my lameness is starting to creep into you too. Lets just retire for today and start again tomorrow, resilient and strong.

...Fine by me. Just lemme work my magic.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A Quest

I'm stoked. These few days, I've been trying to paint out the drawing I did in my previous post, but things just aren't turning out the way it's supposed to be. I'm wondering if I should just scrap the idea and restart from scratch again.

I just can't seem to paint out the face right with outlines. I need to learn how to do outlines, and make clean finishes. But it's just not working. maybe i'm not trying hard enough. Maybe I need to put in more effort. More research.

I initially wanted to follow up my previous post with "...And you'll be flying before you know it," but I guess that'd just have to wait for now.

But I'm positive I'll figure it out eventually. Looking forward to the day I'd actually do a real finished artwork.

Also, on another note, I've flunked my road test. Twice.

And I'm gonna lay low for Magic at the moment. Been losing so many games I've already lost all hopes of getting into Pro Tour Qualifiers. Or any sanctioned event for that matter. Maybe just Wednesdays. Wednesday Night Magic is free. And it's fun. Maybe.

*shrugs* OC