Tuesday, October 30, 2012

This Cool Dood

I'd appreciate anyone out there sharing
me cover page tips ^^;
See this cool dood to the left?

He's more muscular, more toned, more handsome, more clean-shaven, taller, younger, runs faster than I do, ran further than I ever did, does extreme biking as a hobby, and reached very high levels in all the games he's played.

He also knows how to fix a bicycle, is knowledgable about house repair works, gave someone a nosebleed before with his raw fist before, sang in front of a crowd, and even took his driving license at the age of 17.

In addition to that, he is also the head of prefects, president for Interact and VP for RC. Though he told me his school curricular system is a mess and isn't worth any kinda pre-working managerial experience.

But I guess he doesn't know that's he's actually quite a popular guy amongst his peers and teachers alike to be actually having all those posts thrown at him. Which should also mean he's reliable.

So there it is. The guy I've always dreamt of being when I was in his age,
but unfortunately for me, I was inflicted with depression then and was
therefore too fond of creating myriads of excuses to do anything of
meaning and excelled too much in the arts of procrastination to have
done anything of great value to the world, the community and myself.

Anyways, I just wanna clear some things in my head.

You see, 2 weeks back, he took me to the gym he frequents to for the first time.
Yes. I went to the fucking gym for the first time in my life to actually do workouts.
After the entire workout, we kinda had a conversation at home after. I forgot what
I said, but I remember he said something back to me like,

"Dood, you know how scary it is to tell your older brother what to do in a gym 
in front of the public? The fact that I could get you to do the things I instructed 
is damn good already wei."

I couldn't give him a proper response when he said that then.

So here I am trying to create a non-direct channel for him to know.

I wanted him to know that, I'm the last person in the world he'd want
to have a reason to be scared at. I'm pretty meek, and the best physical
prowess I have is just stamina. He's already beat me in a 200m sprint that
one time and I admitted defeat. He thought I was giving him a chance,
but honestly I really didn't. I was just very out of shape back then. I
slacked out with most of my exercises and couldn't keep up while he kept
ramping up his physical abilities.

Anyways... I wanted to say to the world how grateful I am to have him
as my brother. Him living under the same roof as I am allowed me to
bear witness to his ordinary miracle; his hardwork, patience and
perseverance paying off big time. That gave me a good insight to
work harder and stand for my dreams.

And as much as any elder sibling wouldn't want to admit this, looking at
him is like mirroring all my shame back to me because frankly speaking,
I idolize him, and I want to be something as good as he is, even if it's
only just a small fraction.

Him being fearful of me is like saying Vin Diesel is afraid of Justin Bieber.
But I guess that was his way for showing his respect to his elders; me, the
one who didn't deserve any in the first place.

I was a terrible brother to him, and it's heartwarming to know how he
has developed a sense of maturity to still find it in himself to respect
someone like me.

So if he happens to be reading this, I want him to know that I welcome
his teases as he has every right to do so, especially when they are true.
After all, he's earn that right through his own sheer will and hardwork.
But he must know that I don't react very easily due to the immense
emotional training I have with the many emotional bullies I've encountered.

Though I do wanna rebuke that remark he made the other day, calling it
stupid and a waste of time. Because in my opinion, if you're still hanging
onto something that you feel that is precious to you, but you're feeling
numb towards it, it's not stupid to hold on a little longer just to make sure
you're not making a big miserable mistake.

But either way, I still made a big miserable mistake, so yes, it was stupid.
A waste of time? Ok that... maybe I beg to differ.

On another note, I stumbled upon this site one day when I was searching
for good ab burning routines, because I noticed that my abs were just sitting
there waiting to show but they just couldn't because they had too much fat
to be friends with.

Give it a read. It's pretty insightful. It talks about mental imaging and being
able to realistically present yourself in a situation that you want happening
to you. And I officially began its challenge today. See how it turns out.

I feel like there's supposed to be a conclusion for this post but I don't
feel like making one. So I'm just gonna abruptly stop here.



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