...having time constraints when I've got things to say to someone. But I guess I just manage my thoughts somehow. And even when I do get the important facts out, right after I leave, I finally thought about so many other things that I wanted to say, but I couldn't because.. well, I just can't.
I guess there's the thing about afterthoughts. They just tend to appear right after you make your most important statements and make you feel like shit right after because you suddenly thought of so many other ways to present your conversation, but you just didn't back then.
This is kinda one of the reasons why I find it more comfortable to just blog about stuff. It's more elaborate, gives more bang to your statements and most of all, it allows you to cover more, if not all. But we've gotta admit that words without a voice and a person to pilot it with feels a lot less impactful compared to a normal person speaking. And misunderstandings tend to happen more often than not within this realm of dancing words. So it has its own fair share of pros and cons to consider.
But I try my best.
Well, since (it seems) there are no time constraints now, I'd very much like to take this chance to elaborate on a few things. But what matters is that I'm getting this off my system. And it usually makes my mind at ease thereafter. And without further adue:
It doesn't count.
It doesn't count when only one person feels a certain way about something. Just because you think that things won't work out doesn't mean that the other person will think it won't work out. Hope basically just means that someone else besides you believe in something you don't. For as long as that exists, that is hope, and it doesn't count if only you don't believe in it.
For as long as someone else is keeping that hope alive for you, the counter-thoughts of it just don't count. And I'd prefer to focus more on how positive defeats negative, so I'm biased on making the assumption that good thoughts count and bad ones don't, because that's just how I roll.
But I'm also an ass because I'm an agnostic and I screw with everyone who tries to suggest religion into my life. Heh. Just saying.
Love is as what I've said before, "finding what it truly means together with that special someone." But what I forgot to make clear to myself was how can someone even be special to me in the first place. I've experienced it before, so I can confidently say that there are a few sure signs that tell you for a fact that you're in love.
The signs are simple. You feel happy for that person, you feel sad for that person, you get angry for that person and for most part, you get hurt for that person. If you don't experience all that, well, I think something's clearly missing from the equation of a relationship.
Because if you can feel happiness, it means that something good is coming out from it. If you feel sad, that means you always yearn for that happiness when it's not there. Then when you get angry, it's usually when you're tired of feeling sad and wanting to experience that happiness again. And alas, you get hurt, because you didn't get what you were yearning for.
Being in love basically means accepting happiness, sadnees, anger and pain all in one bundle. If you think you're in love, and you don't know that, i'm sorry to tell you that you're either still too naive or immature.
But, if you're feeling this way to anyone at all, just follow a simple rule.
Don't take your feelings for granted, and always make the decision you'd least regret.
Well, that's what I'd do anyways
Why Bother Getting Hurt All Over Again
Why even bother thinking about getting hurt? If one were to limit thyself to what hurts a lot and what doesn't, one wouldn't be able to experience something greater than pain. And that's the unexplainable feeling of being complete as a whole.
You only get hurt when you put your hopes too high onto something. And when you do that, and expect that thing to react to your hopes without first giving it a chance to just... respond to your thoughts, well... lets just say that's plain unfair and it won't happen the way you'd want it to. It's not fair for yourself, and it's definitely not gonna feel fair for that person or object you're gonna be putting all those hopes for. It's basically like attempting to melt butter by freezing it. You just can't.
You'll get hurt a lot less when you just learn to voice them out to the appropriate parties, and allow them to respond appropriately. Haplessly putting hopes without communication is just...=_=
And only nincompoops will focus on how much they don't want to get hurt. Geez, isn't that something more you'd want besides pain? Think real hard on it lol. If you really don't have anything, this is the part where I extend my greatest sympathies towards you.
It's not the same.
I know what you might be thinking about. Because I used to too. But it's actually the same. Getting hurt to get what you want in life, is the bravest and boldest thing you can ever do for yourself. Because success is the constant repetition of being successful, continuously.
When you get up there, you don't stop.
When you get in a relationship you also don't stop right?
Because you know if you do stop, your success will stop, and you will fall.
Because you know if you do stop, your relationship will stop and you'll lose whatever love you've fought so hard to get in your life.
Well, that's my theory of course. Whether you can agree with it or not is another matter entirely.
Need an example? Well, lets just look at farming. You want produce, you've gotta give it time and the proper care it needs in order for it to give you fruitful produce right? Then what, after one successful crop produce, you get so high and mighty about yourself and you begin to neglect your farm. Then it withers and dies. And then you realized you celebrated way too soon and the cycle needs to be repeated in order for you to really enjoy more. So you start back all over again with the lesson in mind.
Once you succeed, you either stay there, or you fall down.
Once you get into a relationship, either you stay together or you fall out.
Everybody needs time to sort things out in their heads. And I'm sure you do too. But whatever it is, take your time, and don't rush things. Let time and inspiration create chemical reactions to your thoughts and produce new compounds in your head full of ideas. You'll be surprised with what you can think of when you give your ideas enough time to cultivate.
If you rush things, they won't get to happen in a proper natural order, and when they do, you'd already be welling up in regret because it'd already be too late to think about it after how you've just decided on something.
But still, don't neglect the small probability. You'll only fail if you give up. So know that
and keep fighting for what you want. Half the battle is won
with a yes attitude and a firm commitment. The other half will then
happen by itself eventually.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day - OC