Monday, December 10, 2012

What I'd Rather Have

A cat at my backyard.

I've always had a habit of finishing up my food no matter what the portion, down to the very last drop of rice (I just can't finish meehoon because the last few thread are very hard to pick up). But this year, the habit slowly took a turn, and alas, I began to not mind a little wastage here and there. Mainly because I learned that

  1. time is more valuable than food
  2. your body is more valuable than the food you eat
  3. you shouldn't keep forcing yourself to do the things you don't want to do. Especially when you're at your limit.
I always pushed myself to finish up all the leftovers my family conveniently makes. There was a point where I was constantly overeating and I had to make up with constant exercise every post-meal or my body will feel like crap. After like, I donno, more than a gaziliion years living through that kinda shit, I just told myself to fuck it and start loving myself more. 

And voila, no more tummy aches, no more constipation, no more extra gases and I can sleep earlier without having to fret on whether I need to work my butt off on the following day. My abs are also starting to show up more defined too with my constant workout, which is a good sign.

On another note, I also follow this superstitious rule to not sleep within the next 2 hours after eating as it is believed to be bad for your digestive system and whatnot. Worst case scenario is something like appendix. I mean, it has never happened to me, and I slept after eating before. But just because it hasn't happened to me yet doesn't mean I should continue doing it despite the widespread caution I know about it that's been passed down from my family lineage.

Yes, I still workout of course. But now I'm not working out not to maintain anymore, but to build up bulk. So it's a different set of mentality I'm dealing with here, which is good I suppose.

Anyways, with that being said, I'm still me, the guy who doesn't really adore the idea of wastage. Just because I can't finish the food doesn't mean I'm just gonna toss'em outta the window. I mean, sometimes I do, but that's just because I know something else is gonna eat it when I do.

I know because I check the backyard periodically. There's always no traces of food. Which means the scavengers back there really do whack whatever I throw.

So on the occasional days where I just simply can't toss things out, I'd just open the door and pour out the food for them. That's how I met this guy. (upclose)

looks gruesome doesn't it?
This cat... if this cat was a man, I'd be giving it all my respect. Y'know what, even if it isn't, I'd still give it my respect. Everyday this cat's been treated like crap from all its communial peers. It's shunned and always given last when it comes to the chain of priorities.

Sometimes, it just gets so hungry that he can't help but to fight for survival. Thus explaining that deformity on his face. The wound turned septic roughly about 2 months back. Back then, the pus was so thick that the eye was blinded from the thick layer of green slime. Now that it's gone, it looks even more terrible. The black dot there is basically the eyeball without any layer of flesh above it.

It really just made me weep inside when I saw the photo. It's such a cruel life to live. Why still live?

That's when it dawned to me in a greater epiphany that life really just is a choice. You can always choose to live it out well, or you can always choose not to. These two decisions always bounce back and forth at the back of our minds according to the circumstances we're in and where our emotional balance lies. But either way, I'm not here today to urge you to switch to either side.

I just want you to ponder on the following 2 questions:

  1. which'd you rather have, living or dying?
  2. which feels stronger to you, life or death?
You sort out for yourself which one is more important for you after you think hard.

In truth, we're all somehow guided by a natural sense of survival instinct. It's usually our greater desires that lead us to feeling incomplete and miserably unwhole because we always can't seem to get things out way. So if you're feeling pretty down with pretty much everything, it might be a good idea to just drop all those worldly desires for a moment and think about

what you already have and what you'd rather have now vs what you want to have and what you can't get.

Remember the post about me getting what I needed instead of what I wanted?

I guess you could say it's the same thing. Only that it's not about relationships, but about your material life. Try to concentrate more on what you would rather have. More often that not, you would be surprised with the amount of things you can improve by just looking at things that way.

Nobody's asking you to drop your dreams though. Just a thought that sometimes it's refreshing to call a timeout for yourself. Seriously, you are not even living the kinda life the cat at my backyard is. So I probably can't comprehend as to why you'd toss yourself into such a viciously miserable cycle of melancholy like being negative all the time.

Death may appear to be always an option, but one can only feel happiness when one stays alive right?

Okok, enough of that. Just a quick update about myself. As you all might have known, time is pretty limited once you start working. I've always had plans for my free time, but I'm beginning to get torn between my workout plans and my personal assignments, which to me, are actually equally as important. One makes me healthier and more confident with my looks. The other gives me a career prospect and hones my skill in the arts.

So after weighing them down, I've finally decided to prioritize more on my personal assignments rather than doing it for my workouts. Seems as though I can always workout at small paces at different points of broken down times for as long as I do my workouts properly, but once I neglect my personal assignments, I'll never get to keep up with them and my techniques always jetlag and reset. I mean, I yearn for a dream body, but I guess I can slow down on that one. My career though, it has a shorter expiration date. Might as well prepare myself the best I can first. And I'd do anything to be able to have the ability to put down my imagination onto paper again. Being able to do that makes me feel like I'm a superhero lol.

So yes, I'd rather be able to keep my techniques up to par whenever the need arises for me to use my creative juices once more instead of having a ripped and badass body (I still really want that though T____T)

Life can be tough. But I wanna be like that cat. It chooses to live and never gives up. What's about you?

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