Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I'll Always Be Grateful

Doing project grateful has made me a more positive person as a whole.
It's really nice to count your blessings and let the good things distract you
enough from all the not so nice stuff happening all around you.

As a final post of the year, usually I'd like.. I donno, do something special.
But not today I guess. I mean, this past year has brought to me many kinds
of different experiences in life and I'm really thankful that I've been through
them all.

But if I could recount my major moments in life this year, first and foremost
would always be my breakup. It'll always hurt, but one day, I'm pretty sure
it won't be as bad. I apologize if I've been negative over the past year.

It's just.. I guess it annoys me sometimes when people think they know better
about my situation. Sometimes they are right, but more often than not, I'd usually
have to filter out all their crappy misfires of advice and really capture what matters
with my stuck up filter of a brain.

But I really appreciated those who have offered their concern, and I know your
intentions were good, so it's all cool. It's not your fault you don't know about my
situations, and it's not a sin to be ignorant about my problems. The least I can do
for you if you ever even looked at me as a friend, is to not allow my negativity to
spread to you I think.

The second major moment was when my heart just bled dry and my brain started
following suit after it finally registers the impact of my breakup. I'm kinda embarrassed
by the fact that I broke down in front of the people I shouldn't even be showing such
weaknesses to. But that was the first time I shared my problems to a group of people
who could feel my pain, and oddly enough, they cried for me. I've never ever felt such
a connection with people before. So for that, I just feel really really grateful.

Then the 3rd major thing that happened was this one guy who decided that he should
help me be a buddy for a day and listen to everything I have inside. And that person
kickstarted my healing process. He allowed me to fully register my problems I'm facing
and since then, I've been actively fighting all my inner demons better.

And then came Sports Day in my former school and I felt like there was something
I could do for the people I'm tied to. So I did what I could for them the best I could.
It probably isn't much, and I could always do better, but they were there for me that
one single time. And it made me want to be there for them for as long as I can.

The fifth was the day I felt like I really needed help with my motivational issues. As
some of you who've been following Project Grateful have known, I had a little therapy
project by my Psych. Major friend. So I followed all her advice the best I could. Some
worked, some didn't, some did better than I thought it would. But the discovery of Man's
Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl really turned my perspective 360.

I guess you could say it was one of the best reads I have ever had and it helped accelerate
my healing process from everything. You could almost say it genuinely brought out the best
in me once again.

After that, I fell in love again for a brief amount of time, and it really hit me that I'm just not
ready for love until I can find a way to properly appreciate myself. I broke the girl's heart
because I couldn't reciprocate her feelings the way I think I really could have. It's not her fault.
She was definitely an attractive person to be with, hands down. But the problem wasn't her. It's
just this stupid heart of mine.

It's really weird to feel so guilty when someone tells you that she loves you. I wish I could
say that back to her, but it's better to not string her along while I'm still finding my way. It's
definitely not my call to decide things for her, so I'm doing this for myself.

But now that I think back on it, this might've been what one of my old crushes felt when
she just simply couldn't reciprocate my feelings for her. Haha, karma sure works in very
strange ways.

And finally, I found my current job. I don't know how to describe it, but I know it's just
a lot of good. So I think I'm gonna stick around for a good while over here. Whatever
happens in the future, happens haha. And if you ever wanna hop on by my workplace,
just send me a text or something. If you've got my Facebook, it's highly likely you
can find my number there.

Alright, this should be it. I'll end with my last piece of grateful nbfjasrgsdjhgewiah now.
I'm grateful that:
1. I met some great people this year.
2. I'm not severely demotivated with life anymore.
3. I've got a purpose in life to fulfill. Even if it isn't big or ambitious, it's fine.
4. I'm more at peace with myself.
5. I'm learning to treat myself right.
6. I'm loving myself more.
7. I can finally end this thing and not worry about spending anymore time here.
Now I can focus on other things. Like.. exercising and PAINTING! :D (because
blogging takes up a lot of time...)
8. I realize that I really REALLY donwanna post everyday anymore.

31-12-2013 Project Grateful End.


Monday, December 30, 2013

I Love My Song Cache

Because when you find things that really hits home so hard
that even when you don't know the lyrics, you just kinda
know by instinct what comes next, damn, it's just freakin'
amazing.

I've got 2 songs in particular.

Who Knew and A Little Too Not Over You.

The latter has more direct meaning to my current predicament.
Hm, maybe was.

Pink's Who Knew has more degree of layers to it's depth because...
well, if you watched the video, you'll realize that she's in a circus, and
she sorta looks like a clown.

You do realize that's a metaphor for
"The joke's on you."

right?

Funny how I kept standing up for that person even when I know
something was off. And it's even more hillarious how I kept the
closest people out because I was so blinded by my love, commitment
and dedication for her.

Thanks mom. You were always there for me, even when I didn't
ask you to. And I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you told me
she wasn't right for me.

But I'm ok now. So don't worry about me. I'll get over the pain
one day. I just need to keep believing. No other way around it.
Can't dwell, no point looking back, so can just go forward.

The mistakes have been made, the pains have been inflicted and
the wounds have already been dealt. If I wanna heal, I just gotta
keep applying things that will make them go away (hopefully).

If not, hey, at least I tried right? It's not like I could just love anyone
that easily anyways.

It's really nice to have time off alone.

Today I'm grateful that
1. Songs I didn't really like so much before turned so meaningful today.
2. My mom told me what she told me.
3. Things are already over.
4. It's all up to me.
5. Ah, so much for my happy ending.
6. It's cool to be hurt, because if I didn't know this pain, I would probably be doing stupider shit today.

30-12-2013 I'm Grateful 081

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Agree to Disagree

Sometimes, when you can't agree with someone's way
of life, the best thing you can say to that person is:

"Sorry, I can't agree with the way you live your life, 
but as long as you're happy with it, then I'm happy 
for you too."

And everything will be fine again methinks.

No sense pushing our ideals against each other when the most
sensible thing we can do is to literally just respect each others' 
differences haha.

Today, I'm grateful that:
1. I finally put this thought into words
2. Solved a customer issue today
3. I actually remember dreaming about myself posting this. Deja vu lol.
4. My 14 hours playlist is just another 4 hours away.

29-12-2013 I'm Grateful 080

Saturday, December 28, 2013

My Face Turns Red

Apparently.

I didn't see it, and I have no idea how it's even visible with my
degree of dark skin stone, but yeah, my colleagues spotted it
and well, I guess there's no real way for me to find out the truth
since I never got to actually see it.

I forgot whether it was yesterday or earlier today, but there
was this customer who was like sooooo pretty. Jeebus, her
face I'm telling you. It was perfect!

And then she spoke and I felt that similar rush of excitement
like when I shook the hand of a celebrity. Ugh, I'm so weird.

But really, she was just really really pretty. And her voice
was like... wow. Both combined is like *speechless*

Anyways, sad to say I forgot how she looked like already,
and I still don't know for sure if I actually blushed. But yeah.
What has happened happened.

I remember she was just ok overall though. But dang, that face
is something you see once in a blue moon lol. It's like a magical
unicorn that only appear in the midst of crystal rainbows.

I guess there's just that.

And... the people I'm around with lately are all very nice. It's
actually feels kinda weird now being treated with kindness and
not having to put up with any form of odd pressure or stress
from them. (besides normal work stress lol, which is fine.)

Maybe all these while, I've been too hard on myself?

I guess I'll never really know. But if there's one thing I know
for sure, life just seems good now. Hm.

Hurr... I wonder if my colleagues traits are finally starting to
rub into me, because I kinda feel like I'm talking more like
them now.

... And it's ok! Haha.

Today I'm Grateful That
1. I think I met the prettiest physical girl in person ever. Like seriously.
Oh, and she kinda reminded me of Gina Darling, but hundredfolds better.
2. Only had 4 hours of sleep, but still pulled through a full 14 hour shift haha.
3. I'm just being with nice people now.
4. I'm back home late, but I don't feel lethargic. Odd. But in a good way.
5. Oh oh, my mom packed me lunch today. At first I was gonna be late,
but the taste of her cooking just eroded all negativity I bore towards her
after I tasted it.
6. Found a nice place to dine in now. Low budget and awesome nasi goreng.
RM5 a meal in Bangsar isn't impossible after all.

28-12-2013 I'm Grateful 079

Friday, December 27, 2013

Rediscovering English Music

For those of you who knew me long enough, you probably
know enough that I don't listen to a lot of English music.

The past few days, I've been scouring through my memory
for good English music, and I'm surprised to see the amount of
songs I actually both remember and liked.

Them actually fitting the setting of a little cafe makes them 10 times
more awesome haha.

I must admit I still prefer my Japanese music, but hey, having some
good music is always better than none when you're at trying to be
at work for more than 8 hours*shrugs*

I'm just glad there's a working player that can play my songs of choice
when needed.

I'll upload my playlist one day. Till then, I'll just leave you with my
favourite all-time song ever since I've first heard of it after a good
friend of mine happened to share the album to me.

It's not English by the way. And it's called a-frame. If you want to
know why I love this song so much, just listen to it twice. The first
time, just enjoy the music. The second time, listen to it as you read
the translation. The third time would probably be you trying to synch
your head together with the song and try to actually really make sense
of what the song actually means.

If you're listening it for the 4th time, then, I guess you probably
understand. If you don't then it's fine. Everyone's taste in music
is different after all.

But if I could be really honest, no matter when I listen to this song,
goosebumps always come, my senses will sharpen, and I feel like I
have a burst of energy waiting to explode inside me. And I still remember
the day I cried so hard because the meaning of the song suddenly became
so real to me.

It's a very bittersweet thing no doubt. Mostly more bitter than sweet, but..
I guess this song is just too good for me to let go. So I just learn to deal with
the memories that come along with the music.

Maybe it makes me stronger, maybe it doesn't. I just know that good music
with layers and layers of meaning that can be transfixed into so many different
types of contexts that appear in life is pretty damned awesome.

And metaphors are really just so beautiful when applied right. I donno if it's just
me, but I find that a lot of the Japanese songs I know and like have a very poetic
feel to it. It's not as direct as English and it's hard to describe.

Anyways, there's that. If you listened to it, I thank you on behalf of Kawada Mami
for even giving the song a consideration. If you didn't, it's fine, thanks for reading
this post anyways.

Today, I'm grateful that:
1. I remembered that I walked a blind man across the street.
2. Oh oh, I met one of my juniors at work.
3. Solved a coffee issue.
4. I take lrt to work. One day I'll make a post about why I'm even saying this.
5. I'm more English-song literate now. Lol.
6. that a-frame will always be apart of my memory. All lyrics, melody, and instrumental sounds.
7. I actually kinda love my job.

27-12-2013 I'm Grateful 078


Thursday, December 26, 2013

Are Situps Bad For Your Back?

Interesting question.

I started really thinking about it when a friend of my pointed it out in
one a Facebook comment.

Either way, I already did my reading. If you want to do your own research,
feel free to enter the search queries are + sit + ups + bad + for + your+ back.

And my answer?

I honestly have no idea.

I'm not sure why the research says what is says, but from my knowledge, situps
are only bad for your back when you do it wrong. And this is coming from someone
with a slipped disc before in my vertebrae so you can bet that I take into heavy
consideration what I do in regards to the health of my spine.

Anyways, I recovered from my slipped disc after 9 months of intensive physiotherapy.
And trust me when I tell you that I'd never ever want to be in that state ever again.
I'll leave the possibility of physiotherapy just in case I get into an accident or something
Other than that, I do my best to keep my back out of physio's way, because really, doing
physio sucks donkey balls.

And I'm glad to inform you that I've never had a recurring issue with my back ever since I
started doing situps and jogging religiously.

Also, I think there's something that really bears proper clarification. When people mention
pain for the back, there's always 3 types:
1. the layer of skin scraping bare against the ground
2. the cocyx grinding against the ground.
3. you just lazy. stfu and stop giving excuses. There actually is no 3rd type of back pain,
unless if your back muscles have a cramp or torn tendons or something, which is highly
unlikely unless if you work at constructions sites and stuff.

No. 1 happens especially when you're doing high repetition counts per cycle. Like maybe
300+ situps. Doing 20's and 60's don't count. When you do it enough to sweat like a pig,
collect uric salts around your skin and still continue, that's painful. Its the friction that hurts
when pressed against the body weight. It's definitely not my spine acting up at all. And I
do this with my exercise mat on with cushions below too.

No. 2 happens when you do it flat on ground thinking you're superman and without a
proper support. Chances are, you'd have been trying too hard to do it, and you even
end up not being able to root yourself to your original position ever since you started
doing your situps. Every single time your body hops up and cheats your way through
the proper arcing form of the situps, that's when you really hurt your spine. So stop
fucking cheating it. Do it properly.

Anyhow, for those of you who agree with the health theory that situps are bad for your
back, it's fine. And if you tell me it's bad for my back, thank you for your concern!

But I'm perfectly fine doing my situps and you can stay healthy your way while I do mine.
I hope that's ok with you.

Because I've seen real results with situps in both myself and other people (my little brother),
so when that article pointed out that it doesn't work at all, I'm feeling a certain level of biasness
in the article already, because situps do work, when done right.

Maybe that guy has a thing against situps and is always trying to do something else, anything
for as long as it isn't situps while still trying to divert people into alternative exercises, which is
perfectly fine. But situps work, and I don't just think it does, I know it does.

So if anything, I feel like articles that say situps are bad are largely done by people who
dislike situps, period. I mean, if they can prove that it doesn't do any good, they can
have a convenient excuse to tell themselves not to do situps, which is great for sloths.

Another thing to consider is if you have any physical disabilities. If you do then, maybe
avoiding direct situps might be the best way for you. Other than that, I see no harm in
you doing it properly.

But I think there's definitely a point here worth pondering on. True, recent research may
have proven that situps are bad for your back, but you must also think about the fact that
the ab-work out culture doesn't just spring out from nothing. It comes from a source, and
if it did, it means there's credibility in it. There's a good reason why people still do it today
and people still get washboard abs till date.

Well, whatever you choose to believe, just stay healthy. Really man. Nothing else matters.

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I hung onto a car while cycling for more than 2 seconds. Definitely dangerous, but worth
every awesome second.
2. I made a... err. friend.
3. I had the day off till 6pm today. Made all the difference to me.
4. I noticed that I screwed up the Grateful ### sequence.
5. I corrected the sequence already haha.

26-12-2013 I'm Grateful 077


Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Genius




















My little brother is a genius. Jesus, I'm 22 while he's 18 and I didn't
even think of using my exercise board this way. Ugh, I'm a failure as
a an older brother.

Either way, doesn't matter. Now my back doesn't have to suffer anymore
when I do my situps, crunches and leg raises.

Also, there's been this nagging issue I've been wanting to raise from some
time now, but I don't quite know how exactly to go about it.

Well, I guess I could always start with the facts. You know, if you begin
working in the service industry, you just can't help but notice that the
foreign labour workers are so used to always doing cleaning work and
people are also so used to seeing them do cleaning work, they are
immediately lumped with the responsibility to clean more even when
they are as able as any other people like us.

And the saddest part isn't exactly the perception of others who look at
the foreign workers, but the mentality of the foreign workers themselves.
I don't really know what's worse, the existence of such a stigma or the
fact that the foreign workers actually think they deserve to do such
kinds of work.

I find it really saddening when I know the foreign workers could do as
well as each and any one of us ever could but inhibited by their own
embeded perception that they were destined for cleaning, mechanical
labour and menial chores.

But well, not much I can do about it. So.. yeah.

Either way, today I'm grateful that:
1. Only 6 days left to go before Project Grateful is over!
2. I had Dark Chocolate ice cream. You have no idea how good
this thing is until you try it yourself.
3. Ah yes, I finally made my first waffle.
4. My Whatsapp is finally back on again after 4 days of douchebaggery.
5. Managed to reply an important friend in time.
6. My younger bro fetched me back from work today.
7. We bullshit about the same crap we hate wakakaka.

Christmas 2013 I'm Grateful 076

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

I'm Grateful 075

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I've had a full scoop of Strawberry Yoghurt with Waffles!
2. I'm more sociable now.
3. I'm doing things more effectively today
4. I got to know more awesome music today
5. I realized that work doesn't have to be always so stressful
6. It's alright to share out my interests to people.

24-12-2013 I'm Grateful 075

#Superlatepost

Oh, and Merry Christmas

Monday, December 23, 2013

I'm Grateful 074

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I've become more open with receiving kindness from people.
2. I've had some awesome mamak.
3. I've found more reasons to try harder.

23-12-2013 I'm grateful 074

Sunday, December 22, 2013

I'm Grateful 073

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I had Domino's Pizza
2. I've jogged to work.
3. I've had a reasonable amount of ice-cream.
4. I'm home on time.
5. I can sleep more than 5 hours today.

22-12-2013 I'm Grateful 073

Saturday, December 21, 2013

I Respect...

...people with open profile pages on Facebook. I guess when
they have such public privacy settings, it makes me feel like they
are more honest with the whole world in regards to who they are
and.. yeah, I think it's a good thing. I suppose it is.

Wait, it is, right?

Regardless, for everyone else who has much stricter privacy settings,
it's ok. I'm not saying it's not right to have private profiles only exclusive
to your good friends though. By all means, continue to do so. You'd
get to enjoy the luxury of not being bothered by unnecessary people
anyways, so it's cool.

I just kinda enjoy having an open life (semi-open actually) more than
a completely secluded one. But it's not like I'm famous or anything too.
So it's just more of a personal preference than anything else. And self-
respect doesn't really count I think so lets rule that out.

Speaking of being open, well, I guess I should announce that the
shop I'm working in would be having a grand opening tomorrow. So
if you're around Bangsar, feel free to stop by and you can sample some
free ice-creams. (and probably buy some if you want)

I make coffee too haha. I'll try my best to personally serve you if I can,
and this job I have now, it's a full-time long-term engagement.

I mean, I still have my dreams to achieve as a budding artists, but for now,
I'm just taking someone's advice with a pinch of salt and learning to settle
down with something first. My future immediate plans are currently pretty
much empty aside from paying up my damned loan.

And yes, I'll definitely do my best to have fun! (already am actually)

So yeah, drop by anytime in Bangsar tomorrow. And here's a link to a mini
event for what's happening tomorrow at my workplace. All you gotta know
is that you haveta wear something red and something good will happen to you
if you do it right ohohoho..

Even if you don't know what you'd be getting, I'll remind if you if I see you
haha, so no worries.

How long will we be open? Hmmm...... I guess just be sure to drop by from
12pm - 10pm haha.

So anyways, today I'm grateful that:
1. I ended work earlier than usual today.
2. I accepted a ride home.
3. I had a ride home.
4. I discovered long black.
5. I had iced latte

21-12-2013 I'm Grateful 072

Friday, December 20, 2013

Rough Starts

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed, your eyes swollen from
sleep deprivation, your throat feels as hoarse as a coat of sugar
paper and you were freezing the night before.

As you prepared breakfast, you slammed your toe into a flat stub
somewhere. Then some hot water spilled onto you hand. While using
your razor, you cut one of your fingers, and your face starts to bleed
somewhere too.

Then as you were eating, you bit hard into the flesh of your lip and
you scorn in pain. Thinking that would be the last, you bit into it
once more, this time with a mightier force. And this time, your
mouth was filled with a tremendous amount of red.

You felt like you needed to make a trip down the toilet, but you couldn't
as those series of mishaps had thrown your entire sense of timing off. So
you skipped the visit and went all the way to work.

And the next thing you know, you still managed to work a full 14 hours
without displaying any hints of stress from the series of unfortunate events
that has transpired around you during your waking hours.

I guess sometimes, when you know you've went through so much shit
but still able to pretend that you're ok is no small feat. You definitely
have every right to feel proud of yourself.

Because that day happened to me today. It sucks, but hey, life happens.
And we just adapt accordingly.

Today, I'm grateful that:
1. I've had a good duck.
2. I've had awesome waffles.
3. I was still punctual
4. Learned a great deal of other things today.

20-12-2013 I'm Grateful 071

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Good Things

"Sometimes, when you are given the gift of kindness, it is only sensible to respond in kind."

I used to be what you'd consider a buzzkill. Always turning
things down, saying no, hiding away from people, not
reciprocating kind gestures and responding with a cold
shoulder and etc. Best kinda party pooper available. 

I guess you could say I didn't have the need to feel associated
to anyone. I wanted to be left alone. The possibility of being
connected to anyone unnecessarily turns into this heavy burden
that weighs onto my conscience like some sorta parasite. Whether
I choose to care or not, it still drains my energy away.

Maybe it's because I already got too familiar with the disappointment
that follows from every blunder of friendships, and I was at the point where
I was too tired to even think about being self-destructive anymore. So I
decided to detach myself from the world and begin my psychological
hibernation from the society.

Why crave for attention only to be ignored?
Why strive to be noticed only to be unnoticed?
Why struggle to prove yourself when everyone is oblivious to your efforts?

I donno, we all have our own reasons to do what we do. But I can tell
you one thing for certain now:

If you raise your hand against me, I'll do my best and five your palm and
show you the biggest smile I can afford to muster.

Because I truly feel that this is the way things should really be for me.
And I think that's how you'd want me to react anyways. 

Today, I'm grateful that:
1. I ate good mamak food.
2. I had Ramlee burgers.
3. I've experienced 10mb unifi awesomeness
4. I've overcome and important obstacle.

19-12-2013 I'm Grateful 070

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Fake Strength is Still Strength

There's a saying that goes "fake it till you mean it."

Or "cheat your way with lies and turn them into truth."

And maybe something like "Act a certain way long enough
for you to believe you're truly acting that way because you
mean it."

Strength is such a queer thing. It just feels so much easier (at least
to me) to pretend that you're strong and fine in front of other people.

Maybe it's because of the disconnection that allows us to perform
better in front of those people, since we'd care less about what
they say, and we can shrug off almost anything coming from them
because we really don't care that much.

Or we couldn't care.

But when it comes down to people like your family and close friends,
no matter how much you try to put up a resistance,

everything breaks down.

They see you bare for the wrong reasons, and their stares
and judgments are more often that not the most damaging,
most incriminating, and most lethal.

They are the people who are supposed to understand us best
but in actuality, misunderstands us most and ostracizes us for
being whatever they are not.

It hurts so much that sometimes, you'd rather just receive a dagger
from behind by a random stranger. In the very least, the element
of constant betrayal won't be churned together with your influx
of confusing emotions.

You'd rather just that. Because it's so much easier when dissociated.

But what if there was a way to end this inner turmoil? Why are
we so afraid of getting hurt and implode within ourselves such
corrosive worries?

We often ask how, but in reality, we actually don't want to have
the answer to that. We'd rather avoid the conflict and run if we
can help it. We yearn for the problem to somehow solve itself.

Then what if all other alternatives are exhausted but confrontation?
What's stopping us from doing so?

If it's the hurt, then why are we still bleeding even without confrontation?
Maybe all it takes... is for us to be brave enough to receive a blade in our
gut willingly as we embrace that person in your arms?

I honestly don't know if I have the strength to do it. But if I want it long
enough, sooner or later, the wish will materialize itself, be it my true intent
or a fake one.

Because if we follow the theory that an act of greatness, is greatness in
itself, then it should hold true as well if the theory says that a display of
courage, is courage in itself.

How does one willingly want to get hurt while still afraid of being hurt anyways?

I'll leave that question for you to ponder. Because I'd really love to hear the
answer to that. But whether or not it'd be possible for me to do the same
will undoubtedly be another issue to overcome in itself.

Either way,

For now, I'm just grateful that
1. It's a huge piece of peace and quiet over here.
2. The weather finally got warmer.
3. I solved a lot of problems today.
4. I've vented out.
5. I've regained my composure.
6. I've gotten hot, then released them and returned to a state of coolness.
7. I've thought of today positively and strove to not cause a scene.
8. I know that I could very well cause a scene and put up a fight,
but I didn't do it.

18/12/2013 I'm grateful 069

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Post-SPM - Super Panic Mode

From here.

























If you've got a problem choosing what you wanna do with your life,
then sorry, I'm not a career counselor. But I do have some experience
to share to those of you who're choosing to enroll into the limelights of
tertiary education, be it college or university, private or local.

First of all, no matter what you choose to do, be it medicine, or biotech,
or hospitality, or engineering, or arts or etc. whatever it is,

1. don't rush it.

This is reality man. A lot of people somehow end up studying the things
they are either not completely proficient in and end up feeling like a
complete failure in life or they study something they really don't even
fucking enjoy.

Nobody has the right to rush you to do the things you want to do.
Even your parents. If there's a time for you to start speaking up, this
is where you should start. Don't let anyone decide things for you. You're
responsible for your life, so make sure only you are held accountable for
your decisions and not someone else.

Trust me when I tell you that you really don't want to be blaming others
for your screw ups in life. Especially your parents and friends.

After SPM/final exams, take some time off from studying and do the things
you've been dying to do ever since you left school. It could be part-time
work, getting involved in more clubs and societies, going for a backpacking
trip.Whatever man, just do it to your heart's content.

When you wanna start focusing into your tertiary studies, don't allow yourself
to be distracted by what you didn't do anymore. You probably can't do everything
you want in between your vacation period. But you can definitely finish up some
of them. So take whatever you can get and squeeze them out dry.

Start with the ones with highest priority to those with less. Then as you continue
on into tertiary, it'd be less stressful for you, and you'd feel like you didn't actually
sell your soul to be a student in some whoopass institute.

And honestly speaking, if you donno what fuck you wanna do or what subject
you should be studying for, when you finish up those things you already planned
to do, you should at least find out something you can do or enjoy doing. So if
you're lost, close Facebook, get out of the face of your computer and start to
really experience life. Your life.

Secondly, before you even think about going into college/university,

2. prep yourself up mentally

I won't lie to you. You'll never be truly ready for something. But once you're
set to get into college or university, you've gotta let some things go. Or at least
learn to. It's ok to be greedy for as long as you manage your expectations in life.
You don't live a full 24 hours a day and you can fall sick.

Because once you're in college or university, if you don't give your 120% there,
I'm telling you here and now:

ALL THE MONEY INVESTED IN YOU TO STUDY THERE WOULD BE
WASTED. AND YOU'D ALSO BE WASTING YOUR TIME. SO EITHER

BE SERIOUSLY PASSIONATE IN IT OR JUST GET A FUCKING JOB
ALREADY. or you can rot in some distant corner of the planet

You're not studying there for a 3 months intensive course and magically graduate
y'know. You're gonna be spending 3+ years learning to be a better person with
your subject of choice. If you're not gonna put in any effort then why are you
even there?

If you work for 3 years, you'd already be ahead of all your other peers in terms
of experience. 3 years worth of them. You'd also have savings and actually be
able to stop relying on the finances from your parents. You don't lose anything if
you work first. The best part is, if you actually enjoy your work, you can use
your own money and finance your own education to pursue a greater career path
that is related to your work!

Fuck those people who's gonna judge you for beginning your foundation in whatever
when you're 21. Who cares? You're practically already self-made. You found a job
you like and you want to study all aspects of things related to your job so you can
go further and make it a career. Who has the right to talk down to you? Nobody
can. They haven't done things the way you did.

Thirdly, before you enroll anywhere please

3. do your fucking research

Oh, I got a pamphlet and all the info seems accurate. OMG Look at those 
pictures. The campus looks amazing. That's it, I'm gonna enroll here!

Wow. Seriously, Malaysian education sucks so bad that it's literally creating
bimbos upon completion of secondary education.

Before you get into a college/university, please at least do these 3 things:
1. Call them up for a full info.
2. Set appointment to visit the campus/Just walk in
3. Talk to the students studying there.

A word of advice here: don't ever be daunted by their remarks. They are
not the ones deciding to study. You are. So walk in like a customer looking
to be potentially buy something. Because those motherfuckers in there are ruthless
when it comes to marketing the campus to you. They'll give you dreams and
aspirations that are so awesome, it'd make you feel like a you're walking Jesus
just to sell you a spot in the campus.

So don't buy it. Always start with I'm interested to find out more about the
college before I enroll. Can you help me? and after your awesome conversation,
please try to be peaceful, even if you're already irritated by their constant effort
to solicitate sales from you by saying thank you for your time, but I think I'll take
a look around alone now. Do you have a contact I can call when I want to 
confirm my application here? Thanks. then just walk away.

Please, don't rely on a fucking pamphlet. That's not the entire info. They
don't tell you important things like whether the lecturers are actually going to
give a damn about what you want or not or if they are just assholes waiting
to lay waste to your precious lives in the entire amalgam of tertiary education.

It also doesn't give you a full overview of your entire course fee structures
and you still won't know how the campus really looks like or whether it'd be
conducive for your studies or not.

But talking to the students there will in the very least paint a clearer picture of
what you'd expect to encounter during your journey there as a student. Of
course, try to look for students who're in the course you're interested in.
When all else fails, then any student would do. Or you can just daydream.

Here are some things you should find out about your campus:
1. Your course fee for your course of choice.
2. Facilities and amenities provided.
3. Student benefits.
4. Deferment options.
5. Financial aid.
6. Competency of Lecturers/Tutors
7. Available recreation, clubs and societies.

I highlighted deferment options because I'm pretty sure most of you
don't even know what a deferment option is.

Here's a web definition of it's root word:
de·fer1
diˈfər/
verb
verb: defer; 3rd person present: defers; past tense: deferred; past participle: deferred; gerund or present participle: deferring
  1. 1.
    put off (an action or event) to a later time; postpone.
    "they deferred the decision until February"
    synonyms:postpone, put off, delay, hold over, hold off (on), put back; More
    • historical
      postpone the conscription of (someone).
      "he was no longer deferred from the draft"

Yes. To postpone. The availability of deferring your studies is a
very powerful tool many tertiary students aren't educated about
because almost all, if not all colleges and universities do not
condone the idea of stalling.

Even our parents don't like the idea, and we're all just kinda juxtaposed
in the culture where once you start something, it's only right and sensible
if you go all the way out to finish it without ever looking back.

While that's true for some, it doesn't hold that much truth value when it
comes to pursuing the path of your choice. There are something things
you can rush, like relationships. Your studies and career are definitely
within the same class of unrushables.

But I must add that it isn't exactly our fault we grow up in a culture where
we're led to believe that the faster we graduate then the sooner we can get
a job a net a steady income.

I mean, what if you aren't blessed with a family that can fully finance your
education? What then? Beg for your life?

So if you need to fund your own studies, you can actually do so with a
deferment plan. Because, well, lets face the facts. How can you ever
make RM8k in 4 months? Sure, if you sell drugs. I'm sure there's a possible
way somewhere, but with you needing to focus on your studies and the current
work scene in Malaysia... highly unlikely.

Now with all that in mind and you've already got a realistic view of what
to expect in the education scene, lets look at a certain option you can
also take into consideration:

4. Getting a scholarship/grant

Usually people who go for scholarships already set their targets even before
SPM. But if you've got a grade point of at least 6A's and above, just give it
a shot. What's stopping you? Studies aren't everything for a scholarship anyways.

Speaking of which, I was actually eligible for one too, but I didn't take it
because it was in a college that didn't offer me the subject I wanted to study.
HELP Achievers award or something. My curricular marks back then were pretty
decent. But the past is past and in the end, I still didn't take it. So whatever already
since scholarships are only open to applicants with the maximum age of 21. I was
21 last year so... oh well.

Anyways, sure, you'll earn extra merit in the eyes of your interviewers, with
a stellar certificate of education, but it still doesn't negate the fact that you need
to sweet talk your way into the interviewers' interests to success.

So don't worry too much about competition. The other students with full straight
A's might have a great paper to show, but if you're better when it comes to the
talk, you can definitely win it if you're better than them at it.

And if you lose one interview, don't worry lol, keep trying. There's more than
one scholarship out there anyways. If the ones you opt for fails, you can always
go for another and seek alternatives.

Nobody said you can't choose what you're studying based on the scholarships
offered. But hey, if you're completely clueless on what to do, the scholarship
areas are a good place to start. If you're good at adapting, you're probably
able to pickup any kinda skillsets thrown at you, and you still study for free.

Not a bad trade in my opinion.

But if you're dead set on doing a specific type of course, then forget about
scholarships. You could try looking for sponsors instead though from within
your network of family and friends. And well, there's still always PTPTN.

And regarding PTPTN, there's a rumor going around that says that if you
get First Class Honours, you qualify as a top scorer and your entire loan
repayment is waivered, so it automatically converts into a scholarship after
having several procedures taken care of.

I say rumor because there are those who qualify but never received the
benefit where there are also those who did. So if you wanna try your
luck with PTPN, then by all means, go ahead.

Well yeah, there's that. Good luck and don't fuck up too much.

Today, I'm grateful that
1. I had the best chapfan ever
2. I'm not studying in college again.
3. able to take bathe with water today.

17-12-2013 I'm grateful 068

Monday, December 16, 2013

Hijabolosophy

Seriously, why must everybody be so goddamned sibuk (nosy) with other people's life and religion.
Jesus. Just let her be man. What's wrong with her wanting to wear that headdress?
























Oh right, she's some sort of celebrity. I guess that gives the public a free pass to be
openly critical towards her huh.

All the Muslim and non-Muslim retards are overpopulating I'm telling you. You'll understand
if you start reading her Facebook or her blog.

Look man. Luckily Malaysia has Malaysians like Nori.











































And some other honorary mentions



























































































































Telling you man, I really feel like elbowing all those people who're trying to throw Allah
material at her (like this Lookman prick). What's even more surprising is how some more
educated Malays actually understand that concept of religious-freedom and supporting
Felixia's own journey to spiritual growth, compared to the appalling non-Muslims (particularly
Chinese) who took offense in her public display of personal change and outright criticized
her for being two-faced hypocrite.

Hold on hold on, lemme just show you the kinda person who deserves an elbow. I think
I saw one in the comments. Hmm... but then I could be caught for public defamation huh...
(but then, I still displayed Lookman's one. So.. *ahem*)

Ah, I'll just copy the excerpt then. You can go find it yourself in the blog if you want to.

Dear Felixia,

Would you be my makmum.. my wife, my half soul, my part of rib bones as i hope to be your imam and husband for eternity. amin..

we've met few years before if your remember. :)

This type of people makes me speechless. They're in a whole league of their own that's
so amazing, they feel like magical unicorns with the head of a troll.

Then the newspaper. Really nothing else better to do. Every single time there's something
related to Islam, they'd just slap it like it's a goddamned headline of the year. Isn't it getting
old already? The last time, there was non-muslim children forced to eat in toilets during
fasting month. Then there was that stupid issue regarding females who are asking to get
raped by wearing shorts or anything skin-revealing. If it wasn't that, then there was the
bullshit story of how polygamy gives a better life. Don't even get me started on the story
about how male armpit odour attracts women.

wtf.

Was I wrong to think we were way beyond racial and religious disputes
already? Man, to think that news of one popular model could bring Malaysians'
mentality backwards is just tragic.

Just leave her alone man. I'm not even a true fan of hers, (I only known her like...
4 days back and that was before this simple story of paradigm shifts was blown
to epic proportions) but I feel really bad for her having to go through all this social
media crap. But I guess this is just something she has to face for going public with
a reputation like hers.

Attention for someone of her stature is inevitable. But I'm pretty certain she knows that
already, and I applaud her for having both strength and courage to be true to the world.
And for now, she seems to be handling the attention fairly well. Perks of being a sought
after model I suppose, but hey, if she's learned something good from her experience
modelling, it'd only make sense to apply it right?

Anyways, social media always have some other good pieces worth sharing.
Here are a few.









































The other stuff you can all read them at your own pace I guess.
I'm not so free as to post slanders on each and every person who's
been making fun of her. Why spread the bad when there's so much
good to share?

To all the other pricks out there, nothing to say to you lol. Not worth
my time. For those of you who made fun of her thinking it'd be ok just
because she's a public figure, you'll see soon how karma works in its
own mysterious set of ways. I'm certain what goes around comes around.
When that day comes, you better not whine though, or you'd be a bigger
hypocrite then Felixia ever was.

Nobody gets away from hypocrisy. Even Felixia. But at least she's opening
up and being truthful to herself and the world. To how much the extent of her
hypocrisy escapes me, because I don't personally know her. But just from
her posts alone, I can tell she's already not as big a hypocrite as the influx
of haters spouting unnecessary junk in her pages.

Well, there's that. I'll leave you to judge the situation on your own accord.
Which side you'll be taking or not taking is completely none of my concern.
All I know is I have respect for Felixia, and that's all that matters.

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I'm no celebrity.
2. I gave some useful tips to someone about something.
3. I woke up at 5am.
4. I bought some new clothes
5. I've printed some stuff I've been dying to print for the past few weeks.

16-12-2013 I'm Grateful 067

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Ugh.. so Tired Today

Such a loooong day. Been up till 7am. Slept til 10am,
woke up and accompanied my mom to meet her specialist,
drove back down for lunch only to find out I was supposed
to attend a meeting and it has already started, rushed to the
location on my bicycle in Mutiara Damansara, with... HILLS
and.. touched down in my normal sweat shorts even when I
even prepared myself change of clothes.

Lol.

Then went to Curve for a short walk. Thought I'd bump into
my brother there or something, but instead I bumped into 2
familiar faces that might have, or might have not sensed my
presence. And man, there sure were a lot of events going on
at Curve. So much singing and dancing and stuff.

At around 8pm, my brother texted me saying he was in KLCC
working today. -__________________-

Nevermind. At least now I know Ikea moved another canteen
to right outside their payment counters. Such smart buggers
this Ikea people.

I got back home around 5.30pm-ish, talked to someone about
career choices and options. Then helped draft a new paraphrase
for a product, and... well that was when my eyes started burning.

Seriously thought I was gonna fall asleep. Luckily my mom made
light dishes that were both tasty and easy to munch on, so they
lifted my mood a little enough for me to stay awake for the next
2 hours waiting for my food to digest properly.

10pm... Yeah, it's 10pm now. I think I can sleep now.

Today, I'm grateful that
1. Oh.. I remember to buy my new razors. yay.
2. Attended a meeting for my future prospects
3. Rediscovered Curve after my last visit in February.
4. I know Mutiara Damansara has a dead end, but there's one fork that
turns into the back of Curve.
5. I think I've helped someone today.
6. Had two good meals today. My tummy's very happy.
7. I can sleep right after finishing this post.

Ok.. sleep. SLEEP.

15-12-2013 I'm grateful 066


Saturday, December 14, 2013

Wow Wow Wow Wow

Xandria Ooi was just right in front of me today. And we
managed to shake hands! Man, and she had those awesome
purple highlights at the edges of her hair. So awesome.

I also met her husband, Yuri Wong and yes, he shook my hands too!

AAAAh I was so nervous when they were looking through
my portfolio. Jesus, Bangsar is just so awesome.

And little did I know that I was amongst a Youtube celebrity
all these time. Geez. So embarassing. @_@

Didn't know my former classmate's playing for her band too.
We weren't close, but hey, I think that's a great feat man.

Chelsia Ng was also present today. Such a shame that a lot
of people there didn't recognize them for some reason. Kopitiam
was glorious back in the good ol'days of Malaysian humour. And
there was I just silently fanboying over their existence until the
magical moment came for me to make ET contact.

Gosh, I'm so weird.

And no, I didn't manage to get a handshake from Chelsia.
It's alright I guess. I forgot her name there and then anyways zzz.
I just remembered that it started with C in front.

Man, bumping into celebrities like this also reminds me of the
other time I bumped into Jason Lo at Tedboy Bakery a few
days after I caught wind of one his old smash hits, Operator, 
The Line Is Dead from a good friend. I also recalled that I wasn't
that fond of it when I first heard it, but after giving it a second listen
after my friend popped it up on his feed, it just felt really different
and good.

Wanted to say hi, but.. I guess he seemed like he had a
rough day. I've met quite a few Malaysian celebrities
before this anyways, and they kinda have a record of
not wanting to be in close proximity with strangers.

I got scolded and shooed of once anyways. Ever since
then, it's just lesson learned and stay clear from whatever
they wanna do. After all, they are just normal people too.
And I didn't wanna impose anyways...

Well, there's that. Today's a great day overall.

Today, I'm grateful that:
1. I met so many local celebrities at one go
2. I shook Xandria Ooi's and Yuri Wong's hands!
3. I also showed them my portfolio!!
4. I brought back lotsa ice-cream ohohoho.

14-12-2013 I'm Grateful 065

Friday, December 13, 2013

Next Year Onwards

Image from here.





I'll probably not do something as stupid as committing to the
life of daily blogging/daily internet whatever the fuck anymore.

As a matter of fact, this issue actually isn't even so much related
to the speed of Screamyx. For whatever's worth, Screamyx has
actually been faring well for the past few years ever since my dad
upgraded to 1mbps.

Maybe the sudden reliability of the connection has gotten me to a
point where I'm became complacent for the stability of things and
all for some time in my life, I actually genuinely believed that the
everything is well again. Not until recently, with the stormy seasons
brewing up and people deciding to mess with the connection manually.

I guess I'm just one of those people who are easily content
with things, even if they are just slightly better than the previous
one. But hey, if Screamyx is still a major buttrape to your life,
then feel free to vent here.

I'm fairly certain they can help accommodate your rage.

It really sucks to be having your life clinging so badly to the existence
of internet connection. I don't think I want to go through such a
life anymore. So stressful for all the wrong reasons.

After finishing Project Grateful, no more crap like this. I just
need to hold on for another 3 weeks and I'm officially excused
from my sorry excuse in the internet.

Well, lets hope my therapist can be understanding of my situation
when I tell her about it. Actually, she didn't even require me to post
it out on my blog. I was the one who suggested it to her and she ok'd it.
So I did it by choice out of convenience, but after having so many mishaps
with my connection, I'm beginning to think otherwise.

Killing 2 birds with one stone right? Nope. Not really.

So no more daily internet bullshit anymore next year onwards.

Yes, all I wanna do is pay off my loan and have a nice/better
life nao. Nothing else matters lolz. Period. Not even games.

My life only has 4 things now. A Job, Family, Paint, and Exercise.
Everything else isn't part of my general concern anymore.

Ye.

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I still get to rest.
2. My caffeine rush is gone.
3. I still somehow manage to post today.
4. It's not so cold anymore.

13-12-2013 I'm Grateful 064

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Standing Up For Me

Today, it really dawned on me that I'm a fucking coward of sorts.
Seems like I really have an issue with being talked down to, or
when dealt with incidental rage. Well, I was kinda rushing for an
appointment, but noticing that this happens without fail almost all
the time when someone wants to give me a problem, I think I
should really give this issue a thought.

Because whenever that happens, however it is, I'll be paralyzed
and stunned into silence, and the only thing my body knew how to
respond to it, is to just ignore and walk away. If I try to talk, my usual
chatter demeanor shatters and this stuck up stuttering version of me
starts to show itself.

I can't talk shit and I speak like I have autism. Not exactly a joke.

Could this be the effect of dealing with people the way I did for the
past forever? Or maybe it's just me getting nervous to use a more
foreign language to my usual tongue.

That asshole who tried to pick a fight with me was speaking to me
in BM anyways. And well, I don't really have anyone to speak BM
with these days. Even if I did, it's through text, and not through true
exchange of verbal context.

So I'm mighty rusty.

Either way, the problem was not even a problem to begin with. That
prick just wanted to make a big deal out of it.

All I did was cycle to Taman Bahagia, and I decided to park my
bicycle atop the stairs nearby the motorcycle parking space. I've
always done that for a long time, and it's queer only this time I was
even being reprimanded for it.

That man said:
"Hey awak tak boleh letak basikal kat sana!"

What I should have replied was:
"Kenape pulak tak boleh? Ade sign tak yang cakap saya tak boleh?
Siapa pulak awak untuk cakap yang saya tak boleh letak basikal saya kat sane?
Dah lame tau saya buat nie, kenapa hari nie jer korang nak buat hal? Dahlah
saya nak rushing pegi appointment nie."

What I really replied was:
"Kenapa tak boleh..??" in Chinglish. Seems like even my accent escaped me
this time.

Then he followed up with:
"Tempat itu memang tak boleh letak basikal langsung! Awak nampak tak tempat
itu backdoor? Oi, awak faham ke ape yang saya cakap nie?"

What I should have replied was:
"Encik, kalau itu sememangnya backdoor pun, awak tengoklah sendiri basikal saya
tuh ade halang tak kerja orang? Ade halang pintu keluar tak? Ape pulak masalahnya
dengan basikal itu berada kat atas sana? Sekarang kan musim hujan, kalo basikal
nie kena air hujan, die boleh karat tau. Kalo basikal rosak, awak bayar ke? Tak.
Saya yang kena bayar. Abis tuh ape pulak masalahnya?"

What I really replied was:
"Takde sign pun yang cakap? Sekarang musim hujan la encik. Kalo basikal saya
kena air hujan, ia karat tau."

Then the pissing line came next:
"ITU bukan masalah saya, karat ke tak. You tak boleh letak basikal kat sana."

What I should have replied was:
"Excuse me uncle, saya ni cakap baik-baik dengan awak tau. Dahlah awak menengking
tak tentu hala dengan saya. Siapa pulak awak untuk bersikap macam tuh dengan saya?
Dahlah saya bagi muka dengan awak, cakap dalam BM, taknak pulak singgung perasaan
awak dengan English, tapi awak cakap macam tu dengan saya?

YA, memang betul Encik. Basikal itu MEMANG bukan masalah awak. Tapi yang saya
tak faham tuh, kalau bukan masalah awak, buat ape awak sibuk ngan hal nie? Memang
bukan masalah awak langsung. It's not your problem encik. Encik nie saje nak kacau ke
awak ade rulebook atau ape-ape yang saya boleh lihat sendiri untuk officiate ape-ape her
yang awak nak buat ni. Legal ke? Kalau awak nak buat hal, tolong buat homework sikit
boleh tak? Jangan nak membuta babi dengan saya kat sini.

Yang paling penting sekali, encik nie ade ID tak yang saya boleh tengok? Kalau ape

yang encik cakap tu memang betul, takpe. Saya jalan jer, keluar peaceful. Saya akur
dan admit saya salah. Sebab bukan salah saya kalau takder ape-ape peraturan yang 
boleh saya bace sendiri. Your job is to educate, bukan menengking. Wak faham tak 
difference dier?"

What I really replied:
"..." *takes bicycle down and STFU*

After that has happened, then only did the proper forms of dialogue come rushing
into my head, like the above^

Aih, fuck this. From now on, I'm gonna practice calming down and voicing out
my opinions slowly. Last time, my lecturer failed me for a mistake in his part oso,
I kept quiet only because I knew I wasn't good enough. But had I really argued
that he shouldn't have given me the result last minute there and then, I should really
have deserved a chance for resubmission in the very least.

But again, I didn't. The same thing happened to me.

Even with my brother recently, who did something really really REALLY dumb.
My gosh, how can he play DOTA and expect 1MB of bandwith to have no
lag at all? I didn't mind him cursing like a monkey in front of his com upstairs
or anything, because I do the same down here, and it's a normal process for
dealing with mishaps in gaming.

But claiming that the lines is being leeched of by other people and that cause
the internet performance to suffer? Are you joking? That's not even the worst
part. The worst is when he'd reset the line again and again claiming that if he
did, the internet speed would be faster.

Ah, I'm kinda glad I don't really game seriously anymore, so I didn't really
see nor notice all that much difference. Youtube streaming was still pretty
much the same, and I haven't Torrented since Vikings and Agents of Shield
finished like last month.

And if you must know, the whole reason why my Whatsapp even went
crashing was because he changed the security info for the line, and my
phone just couldn't detect it anymore. It was just able to do just that again
only 2 days back.

The one that really irked me was when I told him there was no notable
difference and there really was no point in doing what he did, and he had
the gall to assert authority onto me with the words

"What you donno you don't talk."

Right. Sure I donno a lot of things. But I'm pretty sure nobody would
want to leech of a 1mb line. Either way, he seems to have noticed a
difference everytime he does the security change, so whatever la.

Doesn't matter if I stand up against him or not.

But knowing that I always could but didn't is really starting to take it's
toll on me. With my ex leaving, my friends misunderstanding me,
my siblings looking down on me and everything, I donno man, it
just has to stop somewhere I guess. Heck, even my little brother
knows how to speak up for himself better than I ever did. I'm so
timid, I can't even walk up to the mamak who screwed up my order
and ask him to get me a replacement.

YES. That's how bad I actually am and I'm just stuck here being like this.

I'm gonna figure out a way to get rid of this stupidity inside me.
Sometimes it doesn't pay to be peaceful. People just need to
get the point across in their skulls, and that's exactly what I'm
gonna do the next time.

Hopefully.

If not then... well, I guess I'll keep running away in disappointment
in the name of peace and hopefully not regret too much in the process.

*sigh*

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I learned how to make coffee
2. I bought some new pages for my diary
3. I explored Bangsar City Mall.

12-12-2013 I'm Grateful 063

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Figuring Out Something 002

for shoulders/spaulders whatever you call it




















Finally my perfect one. Made 3. This is the 3rd




















How the back view looks like. Okok fine perfect-ish.




















For the pocketsssss




















Collar




















back view





















for sleeves





















with awesome padding for added sweat protection




















Everything's done. All there's left is to assemble them to the final
piece of uniform, in which I'm kinda dreading right now because
with the sample I tried earlier, the uniform is really damn fucking thick.

I swear if I'm not careful, the non pointy edge of the needle would
pierce through my flesh if I try too hard. So I'll leave that for another
day. I was supposed to rest my fingers today but well, when you wake
up 5am in the morning with nothing specific in mind, anything's fine I
guess lol.

Anyways, time to chill. Going somewhere important tomorrow.

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I've sewn even more stuff today.
2. I'm getting a hang of the technique.
3. despite my aching fingers, they don't hurt as bad anymore when I was doing it again.
4. I have internet. Seriously. I'll talk about this some other time
because it's just such a *facepalm* thing that I really need to
reserve the topic as another post.

Hehe.

11-12-2013 I'm Grateful 062




Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Figuring Out Something 001

For my juniors. 

Seems like the ribbons used for uniform decor are

getting relatively expensive these days, so I tried
approaching an idea some of my juniors expected
so that they can save costs and maybe have something
reusable that can be passed to down to other incoming
members before they leave.



Stick with Double-Sided Tape. Leave some parts of the
edge to fold inwards and to be used as the binding area
between the stripes and the real uniform.


just a wider view.

Using as little tape as I can afford to use. First square.

2nd

3rd

folding..

in the end, I had to add more to hold everything in place.
Total around 6?

Hokae... flatten flatten *irons*

ta-da! MAGIC.

Fuck magic. Sewn non-stop for 3 hours. -_-

Use two different stitches as you can see, just to see
which is more effective*

The stitch techniques used.

























Man, aren't I glad I'm not into Fashion Design. Those
pricks of needles are bloody painful. Of course, there are
sewing machines but... nevermind.

Anyways, now I'm conflicted with a pressing issue...
Those ribbons I used. They are kinda notorious for losing
it's dye and leaking it onto whatever damned fabric it
manages to shit on, so if those decor that I've spent so much
time doing for gets dirty, and I can't wash it, then.. what's
the point??

Hrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm.

Today I'm grateful that:
1. I sewn my torn shirt.
2. I sewn my torn pants
3. I sewn... stuff.
4. Got to know 2 really nice people.
5. My Whatsapp is back online. Yay. I guess.

11-12-2013 I'm Grateful 061