On my way to work earlier today, I spotted a man lying still on the tar ground. In the beginning, I thought that man might have just been sleeping like some of the occasional foreign workers who do so at constructions sites and such.
Against my sense for punctuality, I went back to check if he was alright amidst the other lingering people around the scene. You'll never know, he might be needing help.
There was no pulse.
Not movement of the chest.
But his body was still warm nonetheless;
which meant he might still has a good chance of survival. So I performed a few circuits on CPR on him until I began to feel the strain. I managed to do around 3 circuits.
Before that, I tried calling out to him however I could, but there was no response whatsoever. There were also no signs of eye movement and there was a huge saliva stain on the ground centered from his mouth spreading outwards.
I checked again after my 3 circuits.
Still not vital signs.
When I blew for the first time, the air went in, but I could hear bubbles rumbling in his airway as I blew. I suspect that the saliva has flooded his air canals, therefore blocking the air from going in.
I tried again and again. If he was choking, the liquids should have exited his mouth already as I continued pumping his chest. But nothing happened.
I wanted to keep going, but it seemed hopeless, and the mass at scene shared the same feeling. Exhausted from trying, I gave in to the sense of hopelessness and called myself quits.
His mouth was bleeding around the lip and the tongue. It might've been a seizure. All I could gather from the people nearby was that he suddenly collapsed. But when I asked who witnessed it, nobody knew for sure who said that. So I couldn't tell for sure how long he's been lying there. Probably passed 5 minutes already. Which might have meant that his body still being warm could've been caused by the release of heat in the afternoon, not because he just recently collapsed.
The other pedestrians nearby tried reaching out to the local ambulance when I was giving CPR, but the operator on the other end of the phone suspected we were making a prank call. Seriously, of all the times, did it really have to be this time? There's a real case, a real person needing help pronto.
Irritated, we decided to call the cops instead. I was surprised to see the policeman with a machinegun ready when they exited their patrol car. I suppose when they heard of a body they were just getting ready just in case.
Either way, they arrived quite swiftly after the call, and took over the situation.
Passing over the baton the the fellow enforcers, I went back en route to work and never looked back.
Right now, I'm still feeling the tinge of guilt left behind by the incident earlier.
Whether I did things right.
Whether I gave the best I could.
Whether he could be alive now if I did any different.
You see, this is the reality of being a spontaneous medic. When you get to actually perform the actual CPR on a real person, you'd feel good about yourself, and you might even get an award from it and stuff like that should things go well.
The thing is, good things don't always happen, and when you don't, you're just left with guilt. It's like an A grade, no matter how hard you studied, if you get a B, a B is still not an A. In this case, I learned CPR, but if that man wasn't able to be successfully resuscitated, then the knowledge for CPR was for nothing.
And you wanna know what's even weirder? Now that I've actually done this, I was actually advised to get myself checked up just in case I contracted anything while giving that man a mouth-to-mouth.
I suppose good deeds has it consequences too sometimes.
For now, this is my current predicament.
I hope for the best for him... as I'll never know whether he lived or died after I left.