Thursday, June 13, 2013

Questions, Questions, Questions.

Well, if you're up for a good read before you jump into my usual, you might wanna try this page.
Here's a visual to give you a little more incentive to go:

Go explore the artist page too when you do.

I love the comic personally. It has sorta channeled whatever my thoughts were going through about questions in life, and about how we cling so much to the answers we have, we tend to get blinded and forget that the questions are sometimes more important than the answers themselves.

These few weeks have been hard for me. I've had to face my own demons, and boy, it sure weren't easy.

I guess we can start with this one.



Well, it ended up a disaster. And yes, I was actually drawing a half demon so... I meant it when I said I've had to face a demon. Man, talk about tearable puns.

The after-work looks a lot more finished no doubt, but I can't help like feeling that I should punch myself for making it look the way it does. I guess I kinda went too far ahead of myself with my inspiration from looking through this one guy's particular folder on deviantart.

Here here, more eye candy.

Please, by all means, go to his real page
The great thing about this artist is that he puts in all his high res images inside, which artist avoid doing these days with all the art thefts going around. I mean, look what some Chinese dood did to poor Calintz, originally designd by Kim Hyung-Tae for Magna Carta.

Here, there's even a link to show you where it's harbored.
Anyways, back to that guy, masateru, if you zoom into one of his paintings, your brain just might get fried. It's awesome. It's so messy when you look up close, but when you zoom it back out, your eyes just programs and calibrates your image senses into what you see.

And there I was thinking, "wow, if this guy could that do with such strokes, I could too right? I mean, I've always been the messier kinda guy..." And well, I guess we saw what happened with Serph. Oh yeah, that guy I painted is Serph, a character from Digital Devil Saga. I was never really the kind to do fanart, and I've never really done one before, so I thought maybe I'd give it a whirl. But I guess it didn't turn out quite right.

Something else did though.

Seems like the inspiration didn't really go to waste. I kinda learned a thing or two from observing masateru's work. Well, among other things, there's also this.

This... looks good. But it's just not complete. And no, I didn't do this entirely from imagination. The outfit was all imagination, yes. The pose and face however was referenced from a certain photo with minor changes. So... I donno. Maybe some other time, when I feel the kick to do it, I'll finish her up real good. I just need to stare at more stuff before I do. Stuff like this: 

copyright to Kim Hyung-Tae naturally.

When I first saw this, again, after a long time, I was like wwwwwwwwwwwwwwooooooooooooooowwwww this'd make a great wallpaper! And I did set it as a wallpaper and everytime I looked at the screen at startup, I find myself always involuntarily going through the details and strokes that I can see visible in the artwork, and each time I do so, it feels as if I broke down the image's formula piece by piece, with each new look I give it revealing a new step to the process of finishing it.

Man, I sure love my brain when it's behaving this way. If you've experienced an art lapse before, maybe you'd understand the thought process going through my head now. It's awesome. It's like watching a time-lapse of a painting being done, only that it's in your head.

Only catch is that sometimes, the memory just disappears and you have no way of tracing it back there. Can't stress enough how important it is to just put down your eurekas in paper when they finally reach you in your cerebrum.

Well, I guess there's no other way to show what I've learnt other than showing you an art piece with the theories I've figured out from observing other people's work. So here goes.

You see, it's actually pretty rare for me to paint this... cleanly. The face was actually a frustration vent from an earlier drawing because I really really disliked the initial looks. So I cut/paste the face onto a bigger canvas, blew it up big, and started applying what I saw in ScarletBlade's femme futures a test.

I played Scarlet Blade for quite a bit when I still had my new computer. But sadly, you all know what happened to it from my previous post. I finally updated the game and tried it out again today on my Uncle Laptop. The kick just wasn't there anymore. Once you've experienced superior graphics, you just can't settle for any less. Something similar to my ex-complex. But I'll leave that for another time.

Anyhow, that face, wasn't always like that. Lemme show you what happened to it.

face too long.


felt like she'd look better with short hair.
And I think this was the first time I actually gave hair proper layerings. Usually, hair is just... a blob of mess for me. For the hair, I guess I'd have to thank Krenz Cushart. There were 2 paintings in particular that made me do hair in layers, and also... maybe the monotone first then colour later process.

But I'll show you just one. For more eyegasm, feel free to drop by his gallery. It's awesome, I kid you not.

It's beautiful isn't it? Well, now when you look at this one, and you look back up, I think you can kinda figure out why I said that Fencer artwork was incomplete. And damnit, I even had a model reference. Krenz did this hottie above freehand from imagination. (I also did the girl in violet hair freehand from imagination...)


I guess, now, in the very least, after reading through all that, maybe it'd give you a gist about what it's like to be in the shoes of an artist, and maybe a tunnel-vision of how it actually feels like to be insecure about your own artwork. I mean, LOOK AT KRENZ, masateru, Kim Hyung Tae, and the many other Pablo Diablos everywhere. The more you look at their artworks, the more you feel like vomitting rainbows.

And a lot of artists don't feel the same way about their own artworks. Especially people with real artistic exposure like us art students. We've seen greatness, and we love it. And for us to not be able to achieve it, despite going through 1000 paintings/sketches/drawings/studies to do so, is fucking heartbreaking.

But why do we keep persevering when it's so damned hard to do? Well... I guess it's that feeling of accomplishment for reaching a higher level. Something like ascending into a Bhoddisatva or rising to the ranks of the Archangels. It's not like passing a paper test. It's more like, when you knew that you couldn't walk anymore after the doctors declared you paralyzed for life, and one day, after days of physical torture, you took 3 miraculous steps away from your wheelchair. And when that happens, the feeling is just indescribable. And it's many times better then climbing a mountain, that I can assure you.

I mean, art.. is art. It's probably the one single thing in this world of education that you can't simply bullshit your way around and expect a pass. Art demands hardwork, sacrifice, reasoning, and sometimes, your entire life. It doesn't just require practice, and study, but you need to go through a particular chain of complex thought processes to figure out what you know today that you didn't yesterday and the days before. 

It's basically similar to the process of inventing. You brainstorm everyday in a sea of already used ideas, looking at interlying connections to see if there's a black gap somewhere you could fill. Something you could use, exploit and put to your advantage. If you're stuck at one place, you're not going anywhere. If you figure out a new connection or idea, you add more quirks to the invention and if you're lucky and hardworking enough, you'd finally invent something new and better to replace the older technology.

Art comes from an idea. And an idea that's fully educated, informed, and matured, can't be bullshitted. You can always borrow or steal someone else's idea, but if you don't understand how the idea got there, you'd just never understand the true depth of it, and that will inevitably make you shallow. And shallowness my friend, really shows in art when you don't understand shit. (something like mine... but I'll get better. I think.)

So I guess it's safe to say that art, is a philosophy of its own. 

Well, this post isn't about Kim Jung-Gi, but I hope this sorta gives the guy who posted this question some thoughts to ponder on:

Anonymous said...
i don't understand meaning of this article.Is it telling me don't idolize kim jung gi or be like him.If you written about how kim jung gi would have reached this level or something it would be good article.
I'm sorry it took me so long to cover a reply. Believe me when I say I really wanna do a tutorial of myself breaking down Kim Jung-Gi's work and actually showing them to you, in a comprehensive and educational post. I tried it. But I gotta put myself on the ground first. My level just isn't up to par yet. Give me some time, maybe a few years. I'll see what I can do when I have more experience.

I hope till then, you keep doing what you do, and don't let anything keep you away from your love for creating art. I'm still in the process of conquering my own demons. Maybe after I'm done with that, I'd be a better person, and a better artist.

I've always loved this sketch too much to post it up. I really wanted it to look great when I finally put it up. But I'm putting this up now, because... this post means something I guess. These days, I've always been holding myself back from posting new works, and without a body of work, I felt shameful to only post walls of text up. I guess it's just the kinda integrity I have as an artist. If I could draw to communicate, why write?

And look where that got me. A silent hiatus for nearly 2 weeks. *bish*

Anyways, I'll try to make my posts more informative in the future. Of course, that's assuming I'd have one. Heh.

Alright, last image and I'm signing off till my next post.

Looks like the head ratio haunts me yet again. Anyways, when this is done...
You'll know about it.
K. Bye.

No comments: