Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Make Facebook More Yours

Why the post?

Well, I guess I finally got the cue to do it after watching a certain video someone shared fairly recently and well, I guess it cuts short a lot of things I needed to put into context. Just watch it, and you'd understand I guess.

Link's here.

Anyways, whether you watch it or not, doesn't matter, you'll still be learning how to manage your Facebook account better by the end of this post if you haven't already.

Alright, time to show you how to procreate get it done.

First up, if you want to be in control of your time on FB and not want anyone to bother you when you're just there to Facestalk people without knowing you're there or something, just do this:

you guys do know that FB is
essentially a stalker app right?

Turn it off if you don't feel like chatting. Don't bother giving people the illusion of hope that you're around and online when you know full-well that you're too much into a dipshit state to give a damn. So just cut yourself loose and turn it off.

Now that your public status is out of the window, lets just say you've got cramloads of friends, but you only talk to/socialize with a handful of people and you donwanna be visible to anyone else because you're just comfortable with your own bubble of friends and you just don't feel like reaching out to others, here's a more advanced setting.

literally

It should prompt this Lightbox window on FB.

ye, see that little disclaimer? You're not cutting them off your lives. You're just shutting
out people you don't want to be bothered with in your chatbar. Just think about the days
where MSN Messenger was still in use. It's essentially the same thing. After all, it's
your Facebook account right? So don't let FB make decisions for you. Decide who
you want to appear visible to.

If you choose the Turn on chat only for some friends option, by default, you appear invisible (offline) to everyone. After I broke up with my ex, I sorta lost faith in all humanity-ish, so I cut myself off from the digital world for a while and hit reset for my web of friends by doing just that.

Well, some people deactivate their FB account for a while. Me, I just do the what I just mentioned. Same thing. But your messages still come in offline though. The only perk about shutting down your account is that nobody can reach you via FB while you're on deac. mode. So if you just wanna lay low for a while and not want to create a dramatic public statement (anything you do on FB is a public statement nowadays so..) of deactivating your FB account, you can do this:

I started out by blocking out everyone. Then when I think of somebody who's been nice to me, been there for me, or someone I actually think about more often than not, I include them in my list. That way, I don't have to worry about everyone else out there who don't even know shit about who I am and I can talk to people I actually feel like talking to.

I didn't mind putting up with everyone for a time. I was still adjusting and finding out who my real friends were. But after a while, the shit gets old, I don't see a connection with certain people, so I just decided to put it all to a halt.

Why bother? I don't even want to talk to them. And if you've been reading my blog for a while, you should know I made a certain post about the absence of hope putting and end to one's partial misery by offering despair.

Of course, one could always resort to unfriending, but that's just mean for no good reason. I've got hit with that randomly before by somebody I used to know, so I can definitely relate to the feeling.

But here's the thing though, generally when people appear offline, it creates the illusion that your casual messages won't go across and it won't create a reply unless if it's a matter of business. So people generally don't talk to people who are offline. So yeah, there's no need to unfriend someone unless you really want that person out of your life.

And no Mark Zuckerberg, this thing you developed isn't really a good idea.

Goodness, as if people aren't suffering enough from social anxiety already.


Anyways, this is especially useful if you donwanna be seen online or something by your employers or people you just want to shy away from. Now you know, make the best out of it.

On another note, have you ever turned on your browser to your Facebook, start reading the feeds at random by compulsion and get increasingly annoyed by the people who post things that are distasteful to you?

Well, no worries. If, you donwanna piss yourself off over stupid shit that comes out from other people's brains, you'll know below:


Lets say stuff like the above.

You see, I'm one of those people you call a banana in Malaysia. In my country's cultural context, it basically means I'm an idiot when it comes to anything related to Chinese language despite the fact that I'm a Chinese. Oh the irony.

So yes, I don't like getting flooded by a gibberish language I don't understand. I studied it for a while on tuition, but the passion died off eventually and I gave up trying so. Yeah.

But aside from Chinese-ness, I also can't stand people posting sexual derogatory shit about women and self-indulging camwhore photos. Actually, that's still very first-level to me. The one that really blows my cool is when people make crappy status updates that don't serve much purpose than to tell the world they're here. It doesn't exactly help when they do it with horrible grammar too.

Dude, no offense, but at least Justin Bieber's a millionaire. (a generous one too) So he's got every right to brag in my book, even if he may have been getting by with being lucky. But honestly though, luck can only get one so far. With his record, I can only say that he's a hardworking chap, and you really gotta give him credit for his diligence.

Never say never. *shrugs*

And I donno about you, but if I were to share something to Facebook, I'd in the very least let it be a line to think about or ponder upon. Not the shit like if you don't share this, children will die of rape or something. I donno, something more insightful. Like this:


Now, it's stuff like this that I look forward to. At least something of this quality. Jordan Yeoh went from zero to hero with his body and transformed within 2 years. His passion had driven him to a good career, he's got great physique and here's the most important part about him, he uses his Facebook to share his motivations to others in hopes that they will motivate others too.

If you're not gonna post something motivating, then why the need to guilt-trip people needlessly? I mean, if you're just posting and not expecting anyone to care, that's cool man. But if you're deliberately making it one's moral obligation to share something just because we saw what you shared?

FUCK YOU.

Look, I know it's for a good cause and everything, but just because you post it up and I don't share it doesn't mean I'm an inhuman jerk. If you think I'm like that because you think not sharing equates to not caring, then lemme just ask you this;

Why are you even wasting time with me when clearly, you should be out there making a difference? If you're that angelic, go knock yourself out! Get involved physically. Don't just brag about agreeing to all this and just because you shared, it made you a better person. Maybe it does, I donno. All I know is that I've got my own life to deal with, so I don't think burdening myself over things beyond me would make my life any better. And it's pretty clear you don't really give a shit about what's happening to me either way because I'm nowhere near the starving people in Haiti right?

Sure, you keep on sharing then. I'll just put you into my list of judgemental, self-indulging, self-righteous, hypocritical douchebags and just stop following your news feed. You can go on judging me if you want. Not my folly if you're upset about me for something I didn't even do.

Thanks for making my life easier by giving me a reason to shut you out of my life.

Anyway, since I got that clarified, lets just move on to that extra function. So going back to that Chinese post that I supposedly didn't fancy, you see that little arrow on the top right corner? You can click it and a spry will show.


You can click I don't want to see this, and this will show shortly after.


Doing this will just hide the said post from your news feed though. But if you second doubt your decision and you want to play nice and unhide it again, then just go on and hit the Unhide button.

If you know this person is just gonna continue posting rubbish on FB though, and you're just sick of stumbling upon his/her crap, go on and hit the Hide all posts from qwertyfjdshklf line. That person's posts will never again be a nuisance to your many tours on FB. I can guarantee you that much.

Don't worry, that's reversible too. If you ever change your mind and want to give that person a second chance, go to his profile page, go to where the Add Friend button used to be and click it.


Click Show in News Feed on the spry to let that person back into your news feed and voila, FB will randomly stream his updates on your news feed again.

And don't worry, whatever you do here, 
the person you're doing it to won't get a notification about it.

At least we know you did one thing right Mark Zuckerberg.

Also, there's still no way to stop everyone's news feed from coming to you in one go to date. So if you know how to do it without spending more than 2 hours sorting through hundreds of friends individually deactivating news feeds on each of their profiles, I'd really like to know.

Since I can't cut everything off for news feeds in one go, I've got no choice but to do it in reverse instead of what I did with my chatbar. In the chatbar, I slowly connect back to the friends I want to connect with. In the news feed, I slowly block out news feeds that I personally find too damned annoying.

Making Facebook better for me every single day. You can do it too.

*All printscreen images done with Gadwin Printscreen as usual.

And now, for project grateful.
Today I'm grateful that:
1. I'm finally posting this bloody post. It's been sitting out here in Drafts collecting dust for a month.
2. I'm ceasing with all my overthinking melodrama.
3. I talked to a good friend today.
4. I'm going forward with some plans.
5. I finished reading Man's Search For Meaning. So awesome.

1-10-2013 I'm Grateful 001

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