Saturday, January 04, 2014

So Harmless, It Cuts.

Have you ever got cut by a sharp object before?

It could be a knife, and axe, a machete, a chainsaw,
name your piece, as long as it's sharp enough to slice
and looks like an epic murder weapon when you're set
in a thriller-genre movie.

Best effects with a hockey mask on, but I digress.

Now, I want you to name some of the most harmless
metal objects ever that are even meant for cutting.

Ok, just hold the thought and scan through it.

Does a metal pitcher ever come to mind?

Probably not. Who owns a freakin' metal pitcher
anyways? (baristas do actually)

But anyways, remember the feeling of being cut by
a sharp object by accident?

Now, replace that sharp object, with the metal pitcher.



How would you feel?

A LOT MORE FUCKING PAINFUL RIGHT?

Not because it hurts a lot physically, but because of the
sheer ridiculous fact that it wasn't even designed to cut
anything in the first place!

How someone can even cut his or her own finger on the
rim of the pitcher really eludes me. But hey, it happened to
me, so I guess I should know.

But I don't so... *shrugs*

Anyways, as if the pitcher incident wasn't insulting enough.
Just earlier today, I was cleaning up an ice-cream display freezer.

AN ICE-CREAM DISPLAY FREEZER.

It's supposed to be virtually harmless unless Hulk decided
to smash me or you under the entire machine really.

But hey, I cut the same bloody finger again! Only this time,
it was on the edge of the ice-cream freezer, and damn, there
was surely a sight to behold when a blood fountain appeared
for a brief moment.

Either way, it's not like I lost my finger or anything. It's just...
WHO CUTS HIMSELF WHEN CLEANING AN ICE-CREAM FREEZER??
I do...

Oh what the hell, what's next, me slicing my palm with a blunt
metal spoon while wiping cutlery? After all that has happened,
I'm pretty much down for any other possibility.

Life is so awesome sometimes.

And well, I kinda had the feeling Thor already sent Mjolnir to strike
my cranium ninja-style some time ago so maybe I'm only suffering
the side-effects now.

Oh right, and I haven't made my first post of the year yet.
Happy... 4 days after new year?

May Hulk smash you under an ice-cream freezer someday.
Have a nice day.

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